You may remember the novel, Divergent, written by Veronica Roth as a participant in our Annual BSC Book Tournament, however, now it seems it is getting its own big screen adaptation.
The film adaptation is set to be directed by Neil Burger, who’s previous work includes Limitless. It also appears that they are trying to secure The Descendants actress Shailene Woodley to play the lead role. This comes off of the back of news that Shailene is in talks to play Mary Jane Watson inThe Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Here is the synopsis:
In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.
During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she’s chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she’s kept hidden from everyone because she’s been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.
Debut author Veronica Roth bursts onto the YA scene with the first book in the Divergent series—dystopian thrillers filled with electrifying decisions, heartbreaking betrayals, stunning consequences, and unexpected romance.
A projected release date for the film was given as March 21, 2014 in the U.S.
After the teaser to the teaser trailer put us all in a tizzy, we can finally relax, having enjoyed the first trailer for Iron Man 3. All I can say is, “Oh yeah!” This one definitely looks better than Iron Man 2.
For me, Iron Man was one of the best Marvel Comics based films to debut. When I saw Tony Stark in live action, speeding through the skies, war-gaming with Jarvis, I had to wipe a tear from my eye. A comic book legend had really, truly come to life. And hardly any actor looks more like his comic book alter ego than Robert Downey, Jr. looks like Tony.
If we’re honest, the highlight of the sequel was meeting Black Widow. I thought Mickey Rourke did a pretty spectacular Russian accent and it’s always a joy to see Sam Rockwell on the screen, but let’s face it, some bits with Whiplash were a little cartoony.
Yes, Joss Whedon’s Avengers was awesome, but that doesn’t mean I had the highest hopes for a thrilling Iron Man 3. Don’t even get me started on Captain America 2. Will they introduce Sharon Carter or not? I simply must know!
I have to say this trailer restores my faith in the Iron Man solo franchise.
Walt Disney Pictures and Marvel Studios will release Iron Man 3 in 3D and 2D on May 3rd, 2013. The film is directed by Shane Black. Along with Downey, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jon Favreau and Don Cheadle also return. Are you ready for some bad guys? Okay, so Ben Kingsley is acting as scary villain, The Mandarin. Right now I’m on the fence about how I feel about this. Sir Kingsley is an Oscar winner, but he also played a role in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The film wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but there’s a danger here of what happened to Whiplash in part two. There’s a fine line between drama and melodrama.
Now the baddie who cannot fail is Mr. Guy Pearce. Yes, you heard me. He just performed a killer cameo in Prometheus as Peter Weyland and now he’ll be a comic book villain. Rock on! He was pretty much already a super villain in Prohibition film, Lawless, anyway. He knows what he’s doing.
Rebecca Hall, Stephanie Szostak and James Badge Dale round out the cast. Seems to me the plot will loosely follow the Extremis storyline from the comics. The synopsis circulated the web were a little vague, however. They refer to The Mandarin as simply “an enemy whose reach knows no bounds”. Stark will suffer some personal trauma. It looks like his home is toppled into the ocean. This seems to test Stark in a grueling way, the likes of which we haven’t seen since his original story. Here’s the money line: “Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?”
I’ll be watching! Now, who can tell me why there’s a red, white and blue iron man suit? Okay, it’s more of a silver than a white, but that made me very nervous. If you’ve read Marvel’s Civil War arc, you’d be anxious about it, too. Oh, I get it now. The patriotic suit belongs to War Machine, a.k.a. Rhodes. Duh.
Call on just about anyone to list ten directors who don’t suck and surely James Cameron will wind up on that list. Right now the visionary director is hard at work on sequels to Avatar, the somewhat groundbreaking adventure he directed, wrote produced and edited, but we know the name of the project most likely to get his attention next. It’s a book adaptation called The Informationist.
Sure, some folks didn’t see much difference between the Avatar storyline and that of Disney’s Pocahontas, but if you weren’t dying your skin blue after seeing the 2009 release, don’t forget that incredible innovations in filming technology were utilized during production. Cameron’s work is all about boldly going where no man has gone before. The Terminator series is still considered a landmark in science fiction. For the sequel, T2: Judgement Day, a liquid metal humanoid killing machine brought terrific advances in special effects artistry. Just prior, his highly under appreciated work, The Abyss, took a hearty group of survivors to the bottom of the ocean to interact with an alien much kinder than the one he directed in Aliens. As for Titanic? Well, who else would have been bold enough to recreate such an epic disaster in such studied detail?
What uncharted terrain is left to be traversed? How about the wilds of Africa? Or maybe the layers of a woman’s psyche?
Lightstorm Entertainment purchased the motion picture rights to the 2011 novel The Informationist by Taylor Stevens, with James Cameron eager to direct the film for Twentieth Century Fox. We just have to wait for the finishing touches on the second and third Avatar films, in pre-production now, for work on The Informationist to begin.
The Informationist is the story of Vanessa “Michael” Munroe, an information specialist. Her area of expertise strikes me as awfully similar to that of Lisbeth Salander of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or Olivia Pope of Scandal, the addictive political thriller from Shonda Rhimes.
Because of her skills, Vanessa is highly sought after by heads of state and wealthy private clients. A rich oil baron puts her on payroll to search for his daughter who went to the continent of Africa four years prior, and then seemingly vanished. Vanessa, who actually lived in Africa as a child winds up quickly double-crossed, stuck in the middle of no where, and left for dead. As she tries to survive, she also must face a past she’s been trying to forget her entire adult life.
On the production team are James Cameron and Jon Landau. They’ll have to shop around for a writer to adapt the novel soon, but we probably won’t be hearing about actors for a while.
In his statement, Cameron said, “Taylor Stevens’ Vanessa Michael Munroe is an intriguing and compelling heroine with an agile mind and a thirst for adventure. Equally fascinating for me is her emotional life and her unexpected love story. I’m looking forward to bringing Vanessa and her world to the big screen.”
John Landau added, “This was an opportunity to continue our relationship with Fox and Jim Gianopulos beyond the Avatar films. We were drawn to this book because of the terrific, compelling narrative and the character, who typifies the strong female protagonists that have inhabited Jim’s work in this case Vanessa Munroe is essentially a mix of Lisbeth Salander and Jason Bourne.”
See that? Landau and I agree about Dragon Tattoo similarities.
A follow up, second “Vanessa Michael Munroe” novel, titled The Innocent, premiered just this year.
An autobiography from the book’s author Taylor Stevens, would be just as compelling to read. The woman was raised as a child inside an apocalyptic religious cult. She lived in strict all over the world, was cut off from her family at age twelve, not educated more than on a sixth grade level, and spent much of that time begging on the streets or washing clothes for hundreds of her fellow cult members. In her twenties, Stevens was able to escape the cult and is now a full-time writer and mother.
When it comes to hard-boiled detective types, you’ve probably heard the names Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe, but do you know Mike Hammer? Audiences will get the chance to fall in love all over again as Warner Bros. options the crime novel I, The Jury.
Mickey Spillane created Mike Hammer and wrote over a dozen novels starring the pulp detective figure. Spillane’s first was called I, The Jury. Now the tough guy P.I. is returning to the big screen. I, the Jury has been adapted before. Biff Elliot starred as Mike Hammer in a 1953 production and Armand Assante had his turn in 1982.
The new deal to bring Film Noir back to theaters is a co-production between Film 360 and Thunder Road. Guymon Casady and Ben Forkner for Film 360, along with Basil Iwanyk for Thunder Road, will produce. Also on the production team is Ken Levin, the representative for author Spillane’s estate. Warner Bros. is hoping to launch a whole new action franchise with their I, The Jury re-make. I think it’s a great time for it. I haven’t really seen a Film Noir since Leonardo DiCaprio’s psychological, period thriller, Shutter Island. That was also a book adaptation.
I’d be remiss if I failed to mention a few other titles claiming the neo-noir sub-genre. The Cannes Film Festival, 2012, saw Brad Pitt in the very gritty piece, Killing Them Softly, which I’ve yet to sample. Also this year, Woody Harrelson starred in Rampart as a dirty cop. The Town, Drive, Shame and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo all share noir elements, but there’s something to be said for revisiting yesteryear in the way that Shutter Island did, with colorful costumes, excellent cinematography and even accents that transported audiences to another time. This all means Warner Bros. will have to decide in which decade to set their version of Mike Hammer.
Though I’m in favor of letting him live in the past, it’s probably more commercial to let him live in the present. This works for the popular FX series, Justified, which brings elements of the Western to modern-day Kentucky. I’m just saying, it can be done. This would probably be the route I’d take.
According to Deadline.com, author Ian Fleming once admitted that Mike Hammer was an influence when he created James Bond. That hard-boiled element is also highly noticeable in characters like Clint Eastwood‘s Dirty Harry and Lee Child’s Jack Reacher. I’m not very familiar with Reacher myself, but Tom Cruise will be playing him in the upcoming Paramount film. Spillane’s Hammer novels actually held seven places out of only 10 on the list of the best-selling books of all time. Now that’s impressive. His mysteries have sold 225 million copies worldwide.
If he is such hot material, you may be asking why no one has introduced a Hammer film in ages. As is usually the case, a rights dispute is to blame. Now that Spillane’s work is back in the hands of the author’s estate, a clear title could be delivered to make the movie deal happen. Spillane’s co-author, Max Allan Collins, with whom he wrote at least six more Hammer novels, will act as executive producer, along with Spillane’s widow, Jane Spillane.
They are two items in popular culture that I never thought would be mentioned in the same sentence. In one corner, you have American satirist, Stephen Colbert. In the other corner, you have Peter Jackson’s highly anticipated film, The Hobbit. These two ingredients will mesh on the big screen in the not so distant future.
Many out there would kill for a cameo on AMC’s ridiculously popular series, The Walking Dead. Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian put himself in the very capable hands of the make-up artists on that set, in order to become a bloody member of the walkers. But have you ever thought of how cool it would be to cameo as a Tolkien inspired monster?
That notion has apparently crossed the mind of Comedy Central‘s own Stephen Colbert. He won’t make it into the final cut of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, which hits on December 14th, but there are two more sequels in this prequel package, and he’ll cameo in one of those films. Colbert fans will already know that the actor is a bit of a Tolkein’s fanatic. He even mentioned this exciting cameo in an interview with Playboy earlier this month.
Did I jump the gun? I assumed Colbert would get into the spirit of Halloween and have a seat in the make-up chair himself, but there’s no telling what shape his cameo will take. Maybe he’ll be an elf or dwarf instead.
What we do know is what Bolg will look like. Pardon me. No, I didn’t just burp. Bolg is the name of the terrible leader of the faction of Misty Mountain Goblins. Dun dun dun. He’s role is acted by Conan Stevens, who is somewhere beneath all that make-up and armor. It looks heavy, doesn’t it?
Of course, the prequel is all about the titular hobbit, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. His friend Gandalf the Grey, who just happens to be a great wizard, urges him into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor, which is now firmly in the grip of the very frightening dragon, Smaug, to be voiced by the one and only Benedict Cumberbatch.
So, Bilbo joins a band of thirteen dwarves, led by the legendary warrior Thorin Oakenshield, on the journey. Along the way, they’ll encounter mor than just Orcs, obviously. I mentioned Misty Mountain Goblins already. There are also treacherous Wargs, Giant Spiders, Shapeshifters and Sorcerers to contend with. Oh my.
And one creature needs no introduction. He’s Gollum. And he’s baaack on the big screen. Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood, Evangeline Lilly, Andy Serkis and many, many more star in our return to Middle Earth.
Boy, what can’t Stephen Colbert accomplish? His book I Am America (And So Can You!) is a New York Times Best Seller. He’s a family man and a political mind. He’s a comedian, and a voice actor, having lent his pipes to Monsters vs. Aliens, The Simpsons, and a guest role on American Dad! His special A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! earned Colbert a Grammy.
David Oyelowo has just won a role of a lifetime. The young actor is being fitted for boxing gloves as he prepares to step into the shoes of the iconic boxer, Sugar Ray Robinson. That’s right, a major biopic is in the works, following the boxers life. Its inspired by the Wil Haygood biography Sweet Thunder: The Life And Times Of Sugar Ray Robinson. Also on board already are Moneyball producer Rachael Horovitz and Game Change screenwriter Danny Strong plans to produce as well. Even Oyelowo will act as executive producer. Author Wil Haygood wrote up a draft of the script, but since Strong has the experience, he may be called upon to do a re-write. There’s no director as of yet.
Strong last made an Optionated headline when we learned actor from “The Gilmore Girls” would be writing the adapted screenplay for Mockingjay, the third film in The Hunger Games series.
Apparently most of this plan for a new film about Sugar Ray developed on the set of another picture, called The Butler, being directed by Lee Daniels. In the film Oyelowo stars with Oprah Winfrey and Forest Whitaker. Strong wrote that script, based on Haygood’s Washington Post article, and the three of them got to chatting about doing a boxing film. It’s always nice to learn how a film idea is born. This also sounds like a really great team. Maybe we’ll get even more films out of them in the future.
Sugar Ray Robinson is considered to many as the greatest boxer in history, especially given his weight class. If you remember Raging Bull, directed by Martin Scorese, starring Robert De Niro, you would recall Sugar Ray fought six times with boxer Jake LaMotta and Robinson won five of those bouts.
Sweet Thunder will focus on the fighter’s early career. It seems that during this era, boxing was controlled by organized crime, and because Robinson refused to play along with them and wouldn’t throw fights, he struggled. In fact, he eventually helped shine a light on those shady dealings.
You may have noticed Oyelowo in his work on the British spy series MI-5, which is currently on Netflix. More recently he appeared in Middle Of Nowhere and The Paperboy. This fall he stars opposite Tom Cruise in Jack Reacher and he’ll even appear in a small role in Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln starring Daniel Day-Lewis. I think it’s safe to say, in Oyelowo’s case, a star has been born.
Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is a children’s book written by American author, Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz. Awards it has earned since its original publication in 1972 have been the George G. Stone Center Recognition of Merit and a Georgia Children’s Book Award. If you’re a fan of the book, you’ll be pleased to learn that its going to be made into a Hollywood adaptation.
Disney has big plans for this popular 32-page children’s book. Steve Carell is already attached to star in the film adaptation. He’ll play Alexander’s father. The writer and director of the critically acclaimed drama, The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko, is also directing this project. In fact, she co-wrote the adapted screenplay for Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible… with Rob Lieber. On the production side are Shawn Levy and Dan Levine for 21 Laps, as well as Lisa Henson. 20th Century Fox did have the film rights first, but nothing came of it.
Just as the title suggests, Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is focused upon a rotten day in the life of the young Alexander. It begins the moment Alexander gets up in the morning. There’s gum tangled in his hair, he trips over his skateboard and then accidentally drops his sweater into the sink with the water on.
At school things continue poorly. In fact, there isn’t even a dessert in his lunch. After class, he visits the dentist and learns he has a cavity and things escalate from there. The elevator door closes on his foot, one of his brothers pushes him in the mud, and when he retaliates against his other brother for laughing at him when he cries, his Mom catches him and punishes him instead.
At night there are lima beans for dinner, which Alexander does not like, soap gets in his eyes at bath time, and after he turns in, unfortunately biting his tongue, he sees that the family cat has chosen to sleep with one of his brothers rather than with him. Alexander claims things are so bad that he wants to move to Australia.
In the end Alexander’s mother promises him that everyone has bad days, even people living in Australia.
The book has a sequel called Alexander and the Wonderful, Marvelous, Excellent, Terrific Ninety Days.
Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day probably won’t debut until 2014. As for Steve Carell, he’ll enjoy a very busy 2013. His films debuting next year include The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, The Way, Way Back , Despicable Me 2 and Foxcatcher.
Superheroes are in today’s headline. For a second, I thought Warner Bros. was releasing a new animated comic book movie. Don’t get me wrong, even when they are released direct to video, many of those animated stories are pretty fantastic. But today’s news revolves around the Justice League and a live-action blockbuster, my friends. That’s something to get truly exited about. You can even drool a little. I won’t tell.
Marvel fans reveled in The Avengers film from director Joss Whedon. Now DC Comics fans may get their turn to party. You may be asking, “Hey, what took so long?” Well, apparently, the courts are to blame. Warner Bros. has been in a long tussle over winning the rights to the Superman property.
Now, which the nastiness behind them, let’s hope, for good, the studio wants to take a page out of The Flash’s book and hurry things along! They are now pushing the development of a Justice League movie. The film would star Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman and other characters. Can I play Zatanna in the sequel? Please, oh please, oh please?
The studio has targeted 2014 for filming, with a projected release date in the Summer of 2015. Since they already has a script in development, the next order of business is to pin down a director and start casting roles.
If Warner Bros. had lost the case they brought against the family of Superman co-creator Joe Shuster, all Justice League or any other movies, television shows or comics featuring elements the Superman mythos would have been off-limits after 2013, unless new deals were made. Yikes!
The climate was further negative with the Green Lantern film being largely lackluster. When it comes to Warner Bros. and DC Comics, only Christopher Nolan’s amazing Batman movie trilogy has been successful thus far. Their strategy for sequels is also sounding risky. You see, for Marvel movies, solo titles hit the big screen first and developed fan based prior to bringing everyone together on The Avengers set.
Warner Bros. plans to do the opposite. They’ll unveil Justice League, then release solo titles. Do you foresee success? I think the key to wining the box office will be a few very well-known actors and one dynamite screenwriter. It is very difficult penning a script with vying personalities getting along, arguing, fighting bad guys together, and shining in turn. Don’t put a rookie on the case. And whereas Henry Cavill is relatively low on the fame radar, but should still make a stellar Man of Steel in his June 14th, 2013 debut as Sup, I think an expensive star or two definitely needs to be on the League roster to draw crowds. Hey, it takes money to make money. Oh, and will Cavill play Superman in JL?
No, I’m not saying I didn’t like Immortals, starring Mr. Cavill. Saw it twice in theaters, thank you very much.
Here’s another important question. What time period are our heroes going to be living in? Wasn’t there something more stylist about the X-Men: First Class than the previous, modern-day X-Men films? Actually, a case could be made for either era. If we set the Justice League in our current time period, a lot of costumes need updating.
I know one DC hero who isn’t down and out. The Green Arrow is enjoying success in the CW’s hottest show in three years, Arrow.
Get ready, sci-fi fans, Caesar, leader of simian kind, is coming back to theaters. From 20th Century Fox, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which debuted in August 5, 2011, was a runaway smash hit. Popular drama The Help premiered around the same time, and even though it went on to earn Oscar nominations, the buzz over Apes nearly drowned out the other film. And The Wolverine scribe, Mark Bomback, is now on the job.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a re-boot of the classic science fiction series of Apes films. The first appeared in 1968, starring Charlton Heston as an astronaut who believes he has crash landed on a strange alien planet where apes are intelligent and capable of speech and rule over dimwitted humans. Of course the infamous twist comes at the end when he spies the Statue of Liberty and realized he’s standing on earth, in the distant future. There were four sequels to the original Planet of the Apes, and I love them all so much that I think I can give you a short summary.
Let’s see… We meet some intelligent and even frightening humans remaining on the Planet of the Apes. They are definitely odd, and they worship a nuclear bomb. They set it off at the end of film two and Taylor and Nova die. In film three, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Taylor’s intelligent ape pals, Cornelius and Zira, whose most remembered line from film one is, “I’d kiss you, but your so damned ugly,” escape the bombing of their planet by hopping into Taylor’s restored space ship. They end up in our modern-day, which at the time was 1973 (though the picture premiered in ’71). They become instant celebrities.
Cornelius and Zira have a child, which they name Milo, and Ricardo Montalbán hides him when his parents are tragically murdered. In film four, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, it is ten years later and Montalbán’s character Armando has re-named Milo with the familiar moniker, Caesar. He tries to protect Caesar, but a strange disease has killed off all of earth’s cats and dogs, so humans have adopted apes as pets. Of course, the apes get smarter and smarter and are becoming valets and personal assistants to the humans. Caesar ends up in the training facility, destined to become a servant and play dumb. As he is found out, he rebels, and then turns the world upside down by leading the rest of the apes to overthrow mankind.
That film was the closest to the 2011 revamp, which starred
Finally, in 1973, came film five, Battle for the Planet of the Apes. It is about twelve years later and Caesar is still in charge. He struggles to keep power away from the humans, while grappling with feelings of empathy for them.
The important news; however, is that Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is coming on May 23rd, 2014. Andy Serkis is returning as Caesar. You know the drill. He wears all those sensors on his face and those translate into the finished product as Caesar emoting. I was amazed at how easy it was to connect with the digitally rendered ape in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
In this version of the mythology, in hunting for a cure for Alzheimer’s, Caesar, a regular ol’ chimp, is injected with a serum that makes him smarter than the average jungle dweller. He then leads a rebellion for his kind against mankind. Matt Reeves will direct the sequel and a screenwriter has just signed on. That’s Mark Bomback. He also wrote for Live Free or Die Hard as well as the Total Recall remake. Bomback knows action!
What an exciting job he has! The story will depict the fall of human civilization. There’s so many terrible things that can help tip the scales in ape favor. Which do you think he’ll choose?
All Ape films, including the latest re-boots, credit the book, Planet of the Apes by Pierre Boulle as their inspiration. Oops. I failed to mention Mark Wahlberg’s previous franchise re-boot. Oh yeah, that’s because I didn’t like it very much. Sorry!
Lionman Scarface and Shoulderpads Assumptive In Love Heat
AKA, Beauty and the Beast on the CW
Elena-
Boy, where to start with this piece of work.
Actually let’s start with me. I love fairy tales, and I love fairy tale reworkings. “Beauty and the Beast” was always a particular favorite of mine, probably because it dealt in consequences—everything that happened to the characters was a direct result of something they did. They don’t suffer misfortune, they suffer karma, and that idea has always resonated with me. Learning to take responsibility for one’s own actions and their consequences is effing hard, which is why some people have to get turned into a beast in order to appreciate that lesson.
Rachel –
I like fairy tales when they are as weird as possible. Turn them into cartoon musicals with anthropomorphic wall clocks? Gold. Reinterpret with Ron Perlman dressed as Lion-O in an 80’s hair band? THE BEST AND PUREST OF GOLDS. CW had a few choices to make when they decided to re-make George R. R. Martin’s (yeah…let that process for a bit) Beauty and the Beast, which ran from 1987-1989 on CBS. Let’s just say they haven’t impressed me with their choices thus far.
What I liked about the original (which I have dubbed Lionman and Shoulderpads in Love) was Vincent’s physical inability to be anything other than a Lionman. Sure, Catherine fell in love with him and learned to see into his heart and beyond his (totally hot) scary Lionface cleft lip, but there wasn’t any cure or magical potion that would turn Vincent into Ron Perlman. That is what made that show so addictive. Watching those two interact with each other around the apparently insurmountable species sexual incompatibility was addictive and cheesy. OK, mostly cheesy, but yelling at Linda Hamilton about how she’s just being a prude because hot lionman sex is something she should TOTALLY go for (your mom watches this show…haaa) is pretty much the best viewing experience ever. *
Anyway, it seems like the CW has gone the absolute opposite direction. The new Vincent is not beastly at all in appearance. The tiny scratch on his face is LAUGHABLE. The Beast is on the inside, and that is just boring. BORING BORING BORING. That is all the ex-boyfriends any of us ever had! I AM SERIOUSLY UNIMPRESSED, CW. There better be something else going on, like Catherine’s utter lack of likability being because she is the Beast in this version. That would be interesting.
But then there’s the plot…
Elena-
Oh, you mean, the “plot.” This storyline? Not so much about actions and consequences. Not at all about that, in fact. All these characters are complete reactionaries. Something happens to them, and they react to it. Unless there is a complicated backstory to be revealed later, the “detective” did nothing in her past that caused her mother’s murder, just like there is nothing in the beast’s choices that showed why he deserved to become a monster on the outside. Yes, the events that follow from those two life-altering moments are connected, but they are a string of events that derive from things that were done to the characters, not from some choice the characters made for themselves.
Just in the basic set-up, therefore, this fails as a reworking of the fairy tale.
But it fails in other ways, too. First of all, the beast is way too studly to make a believable beast, as Rachel pointed out. Even when he gets mad and kills things he just looks like manbearpig, and the rest of the time he looks like a tittybaby for being all emo about his one little scar. Wah, wah, wah. Go tell it to the one-legged man, so he can hump it on down the road. It’s no wonder she’s all, “Who WAS that hot beast that saved me in the woods? Oh, it’s you! Let’s bone.”
Rachel-
Can we also talk about how far-fetched it is that a super-hot and well-educated doctor guy who joins the army after his brother is killed in the 9/11 attacks (seriously, CW…WTF is WRONG WITH YOU?) would then be chosen for a super-secret Gamma Ray project in the first place? One of my favorite parts of the story is that Vincent the former Doctor, when asked what was done to him…has no idea. BUT YOU ARE A DOCTOR. Did they put the gamma rays up your butt? Was it a pill you swallowed? Did a withered old lady shove a rose in your face and cackle? YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME IDEA!
Elena-
Exactly. It would have made more sense if he had done it to himself, you know, performing illegal medical research. At least that way it would have been his choice and his consequences, instead of being victimized and hunted by these evil government agents. Yawn.
Rachel-
The script is so poorly written that the cliché lines “Needs a new decorator,” “Do you know what the definition of insanity is?” and “We are going to save each other!” ARE THE BEAST LINES. It’s like the writers let Yahoo! Answers write the script!
Elena-
I want to go back to the theory Rachel posed above, that maybe this entire show is a switcheroo and she is the beast, hence why he doesn’t need to be beastly. This idea makes so much sense to me that I hope it’s true, even though I think it might be unintentional.
See, her character seems like a pretty standard female lead, hence why I think her beastliness was not intentional…but she really set off a lot of my civil rights bells. She’s either totally corrupt or totally incompetent as an officer of the law, and either we are supposed to accept this because she’s like all cops or we’re supposed to admire her as the main character and overlook her flaws (like so much urban fantasy asks us to overlook completely bullying behaviors by the heroines, because that sort of thing is okay when you are 5 feet tall and 98 pounds). Sorry, no. Let’s look at a checklist from one episode of Detective Catherine behaving badly:
She doesn’t enforce laws impartially, but according to her own whims (arrest the guy who just dumped me, he has pot)
She uses her authority as an officer of the law to trespass by lying about having a warrant (oh, hai hot doctor beast, I just knew you were in here after my first legitimate visit…guess I smelled your hot beastly pheromones or something)
She steals evidence from a suspect’s property without a warrant or permission or proper forensic documentation (beauty sample log)
She leaks information about an ongoing investigation to someone outside her department and steals evidence to release to someone outside her department (secret subway meeting with…CIA? friend).
She happily goes along with it when her friend steals evidence that implicates her and no doubt erases the log entry for it.
…this is our model cop heroine? Frailty, thy name is Catherine, indeed.
Look, I apologize for getting so serious, but it’s a topic that really matters to me, and I get up in arms every time I see a positive portrayal of cops behaving badly. That means people see the actions and don’t realize what the behavior is or write it off because she’s “really the good guy and not hurting anyone,” which makes it more likely that people will tolerate such behavior from public officials in real life…which is how innocent people end up imprisoned, bankrupted by asset forfeiture despite never being convicted of a crime, or on death row. What this show needs is Judge Dredd (or even just Rookie Anderson), clearly.
Anyway. I didn’t like her, found her to be vacuous and self-serving, and corrupt on a small scale that could grow exponentially because the only moral calibration she seems to make is whether following a law or protocol makes her feel good and acting according to her own emotions. The Law is above that! (Can you all see the annoyed Judge face I am making right now? Can you picture it?)
Rachel-
Yeaaaah, she’s lame. She’s too young to be a detective, and she has this super false way of speaking like every word in the script is a revelation to her brain. I’ll blame that on a combination of writing, directing, and acting. It’s like when Christian Bale went for the Batvoice and no one stopped him. Lana Lang decided to try a phone sex operator voice. It doesn’t work. Catherine also seems extremely physically capable. She throws three grown men around on a subway platform without mussing her hair. It’s the Buffy-effect maybe. Or maybe they did that because the writers wanted a strong female character that wouldn’t need constant saving from Vincent…even though she does actually need constant saving from Vincent. I like that they didn’t go the rape route like the original did (It was a “violent attack” with a sexual assault implication). I’m so sick of female protagonists in fantasy stories being raped. I’M SO SICK OF IT. So points to CW for leaving that the hell off the table.
I’m worried this show is going to turn into the capable girl gets all lame and helpless around her boyfriend and then when he hits her (it is INEVITABLE that he hits her, guys, accept it. He even screamed in her face that he would) becomes really dependent and apologetic a la Bella Swan. PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN.
Elena-
It’s funny you bring up Bella Swan, everyone’s favorite robot bride impersonator, because I got very little sense of him except that he’s basically Edward Cullen. Creepy stalker protector with a saving people complex and a self-loathing hatred of the monster within. Got it. I had trouble believing his claim of being imprisoned there for fear of getting caught. He could totally be wandering around New York without attracting attention because he’s not a beast except when he’s upset (maybe he just gets really terrible sidewalk rage?). Everyone thinks he’s dead. Stay away from the military recruiting centers and the UN, and you’ll never run into anyone you shouldn’t. No need to stay in the rusty, filthy post-industrial loft unless you just LIKE being emo and tragic and broody (cough *Edward Cullen * cough).
(Speaking of his rusty filthy post-industrial loft with the crazy science experiments being run by his biochemist friend to try and cure him…LAMEST MAGIC CASTLE EVER. That is all.)
Rachel-
I miss the mist-filled NYC sewers full of libraries and homeless people in Renn Faire gear.
Elena-
Me too, and I didn’t even watch the original!
So let’s sum this one up: the fight scene was pretty bad, the dialogue was terrible, the plot was thin, and the murder investigation seemed tacked on. She should be something besides law enforcement, because then they wouldn’t have to do a murder of the week thing—news flash, Castle already has the market on the buddy-cop/we want to get nas-tay show.
I will confess that, for some reason I can’t explain, the last scene made me want to watch next week, just to see if some of these issues were pilot shakes. I think I’m a sucker for dudes who stand on top of buildings and stare torturedly into the night inwardly screaming about fairness and true love. But I don’t hold out much hope for redemption.
Rachel-
I might actually check it out next week just to see what the show looks like when it’s not a network executive-pleasing pilot. I highly doubt that Catherine will turn out to be the beastly half of this pairing (even though it would be AWESOME) just because the manbearpig has already flashed its CGI face to the audience. Maybe the CW will surprise me. I thoroughly enjoy The Vampire Diaries (yes, that’s right, I have eyeballs and ovaries. Sue me.), and they’ve done a lot to that show to make it genre subversive.
If not – may I suggest ABC’s Once Upon a Time. Another horrifyingly bad show with questionable costumes and a Beast who is oddly hot despite his moss-covered teeth.
ENJOY.
* Yes, Catherine has Vincent’s Lioncubbaby but that was only because she quit and the writers had to kill her off and still maintain a connection with the last two seasons. It’s the worst only because they never show them MAKING THE DAMN BABY. Which is all we ever wanted.
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