Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Trailer Enslaves My Imagination

What seemed to have started as a novelty novel series, has turned into a new well for Hollywood to dip it’s quill into. Twentieth Century Fox has released the first official trailer for the film Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter! The film is based on Seth Grahame-Smith’s book by the same name.

So with Hollywood not content with just rebooting films, they’re also interested in remixed literary books. With the kind of success that this is bound to generate, more of these will start appearing.

Lincoln as the slayer isn’t the first silly idea that Grahame-Smith’s had. Already another one of his stories are being spun into film gold. He’s also written Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which has been optioned by Lionsgate Entertainment. The film will star Natalie Portman who is also producing for the film.

So the gold rush has begun and already I’ve seen books being churned out like Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Android Karenina, and The Meowmorphosis. They call it a literary-remix, I call it a bastardization. Seriously? Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis and all they do is substitute a cute adorable kitten instead of a roach. How am I not rich yet? All I have to do is take a well recognized book and substitute species. Like if I took the bible and made Jesus into a lion… Oh wait… Narnia.

The film follows Abe Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) who isn’t just trying to liberate slaves from powerful land owning parasites, but humans from the thrall of blood sucking vampires.

The Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter film is directed by Timur Bekmambetov, who’s shown us the art of curving bullets in Wanted, and the spooky Tim Burton. Johnny Depp who’s almost synonymous with Burton seems to be distracted with his own vampire movie, Dark Shadows; directed by Burton with a screenplay also from Grahame-Smith.

The trailer opens with a quote from Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around” and Revelations 6:7-8. I’m not sure which is older.

“and I heard as it were, the noise of thunder. And I looked and behold was death saying, come and see. And I saw. And Hell followed me.”

If I were to interpret this, it would be that “Once your eyes are opened to the true world around you, then you’ll see the nightmare that you’ve always lived in.”  Upon further interpretation they’re either talking about the supernatural threat of vampires or vampire movies.

So the trailer continues with hero shots in iconic stove pipe hat, explosions, Soon-to-be-Disney-train-theme- rides, and fights with vampires. Lincoln certainly looks well trained in the ancient art of Axe Fu. That was some impressive spinning and body blocking moves.

The end of the trailer shows the Lincoln rolling a natural 20 by obliterating what we can suspect is a vampire tree; probably from the eventual story remix that will be created of Macbeth: Vampire Tree Sympathizer.

The faux history of this film might seem dumb, but the movie still looks awesome.

What are you waiting for? Check out the trailer below!

This entry was posted in Movie Adaptations and tagged , , , , on by .

About Leo Choy

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Leo Choy stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Leo can see and hear. And so, Leo finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.

Leave a Reply