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Playing The Game of Thrones With Season 2: Ep. 2 – A Review

Episode 2: The Night Lands

Elena: What was so fucked up about the last 15 minutes that got you all riled on Twitter?

Rachel: Right, so to explain without being spoilery – I went to bat for this show’s last episode saying that it could end up being better than the books, and this week the show reminded me why that will never happen. I get that everything needs to be simplified, but I feel like they are writing to the lowest common denominator. I.e., We gotta write boobs and we gotta take out anything that requires brain cells to understand. This oversimplification results in scenes like the one between Stannis and Melisandre. A complicated and by no means confirmed suspicion of Davos’ in the novels becomes a hypocritical sex scene, and I don’t think it’s good writing.

Lots of fans think Melisandre and Stannis are lovers. Fine. It’s up for interpretation, so any opinion is valid. But Stannis goes to great lengths to prove to people that he is not a hypocrite and simple seduction is NOT at the heart of that relationship. No WAY is that all there is to it. Stannis does things because they are right, and he does what needs to be done to keep the right way. Seduction should not work on the Lobster King. If he is seduced it’s not because of Melisandre’s boobs and CERTAINLY not because she can give him a son. Stannis would not be interested in a bastard son. He just WOULDN’T. So that entire scene was dumb. And humph.

 

Elena: Speaking of boobs…Any thoughts on the Ros/Littlefinger scene as it relates to the exposition of his character on screen vs in the book?

Rachel: Well, Ros isn’t in the books. Didn’t you know that? You know that. She’s entirely made up. So Ros exists entirely as a tool of exposition. Mostly for Littlefinger at this point. In the books we know Littlefinger is sly because everyone says so. The show feels the need to actually give us examples of his cunning and wit. So it lulls us repeatedly into thinking he’s a decent person and then BAM – reminds us that he is the person you should trust the least. Poor Ros. If I were her I would tread carefully. Littlefinger talks to her too much and we know he regards knowledge as power.

She also exists for boobs.

 

Elena: On to happier subjects! What did you think of Yarra Asha? I know you heart her so…did they do her justice?

Rachel: Dude, (can I call y’all ‘Dude’?) Asha was AWESOME! Gemma Whelan even had the walk down. She’s snarky, confident, cool, she’s got leather pants! Can’t wait to see her throw an axe around!

The people who are all up in arms about how Asha “isn’t hot enough” should really re-examine how they interact with society. Asha is plenty hot and Gemma’s costume and makeup is appropriate for the character. Asha the character isn’t alluring or desirable because her face is pleasantly symmetrical and she wears eyeliner and boob hoisters – it’s because she’s a warrior woman who gives orders and splits heads. She’s always got something smart ass to say (Greyjoy trait), and to compare her to Melisandre – she’s also a woman of agency. It’s not about getting married or protecting her children or even her “maidenhood” (Asha would make a dirty joke here). It’s about paying the iron price. Done.

Haters to the Wall!

PS – does everyone else think that the Greyjoy armor is going to be the best armor out of all the armor?

 

What is your opinion on the Greyjoys so far?

Elena: They are…not what I expected. I don’t know what I did expect.  Something more like Baratheons on the Sea, perhaps? Even knowing that the father rebelled and all that did not prepare me for meeting them.  I am FASCINATED by their family ethos.  They are like…House Pirate.  Or maybe House Honey Badger (the Honey Badger doesn’t give a shit.  It takes what it wants!  Oh, it’s eating grubs? That’s nasty—but it’s hungry!  Honey Badger doesn’t give a fuck).

I just…I loved the iron price.  I loved him calling Theon a nancy boy.  I loved Balon’s point about “I am not going to let someone put a crown on my head, I’ll win it for myself.”  And Yarra Asha was awesome!  She’s the first woman we’ve seen who is grabbing power and influence on the strength of her own self rather than her family.  I mean, yes, she is a Greyjoy and all the brothers are gone, but instead of letting the house fall into despair or pin its hopes on Theon she has stepped into that void and made the fact of her sex irrelevant.

Also…what happened to Theon?  He didn’t turn out a proper Stark or a proper Greyjoy.  He just fails on all levels.  And he looks like a terrible lay.  Theon…the Theta Chi president of Westeros.

And, yes, their armor is going to be AWESOME.

 

Rachel: Tyrion is in top form but I’m not sure how wise it is to challenge Varys, what do you think?

Elena: Is Tyrion challenging him?  Or just telling him to tread lightly?  Sometimes a display of power is all you need to make diplomacy look a little more viable…I took it as Tyrion saying, “don’t fuck with me because I can and will do something about it.”  Which is a little different from saying, hey Varys, I’m going to replace you as spymaster.  I mean, I guess since no one knows Varys’ game anything that interferes with what he wants to do—which could easily be a hand of strong will and intelligence and at least some treachery, like Tyrion—might be a challenge to him, but I took it more as Varys and Tyrion feeling out each other rather than an actual challenge.

Tyrion’s Axiom of the Week: I’m not Ned Stark. I understand how this game is played.

Rachel: Gendry and Arya should get their own books/series, agree?

Elena: They would make an excellent sword and sorcery type adventuring pair.  They definitely need to just say fuck Westeros and sail off into the wide blue yonder.  As far as we know this planet isn’t Waterworld, so, you know, there’s other continents out there.  And obviously Salador Saan does just fine as a pirate, so that’s always an option. I would read that, especially if it had the promise implicit in all non-GRRM/GRRM-derived fantasy that the main characters won’t fucking die.  But, yeah, the two of them were hilarious together!  And hilarious with the other parts of the To The Wall Contingent.  So maybe the going off alone doesn’t actually work.

Anyway, Gendry surprised me. I expected him to be…dumb.  Yes, I have that academic-nerd prejudice about jocks, and I assumed something about a blacksmith apprentice.  He’s not dumb.  He may not be edumucated, but he’s well spoken and funny and insightful.  I look forward to more Gendry.

Also I hope Yoren continues to be such a badass protectorate if Joffrey’s minions come back.

(And speaking of Joffrey: hahahahaha I totally called that it was him and not Cersei behind the dead babies!  I win!)

 

What did you think of Hotpie and friends?

Rachel:  Hotpie looks exactly like how I pictured him in my head, and Lommy Greenhands ACTUALLY HAD GREEN HANDS, ELENA! Give that costume design team an Emmy. Just do it. DO IT FOR LOMMY!

We’ve also got Rorge, Biter and Jaqen H’ghar! And I actually can’t say a damn thing about them without spoiling you so let’ s just say they are criminals. Which was obvious. I liked ’em!

 

Sam’s plan to save Gilly is hilariously bad—how do you feel about what is shaping up north of the wall?

Elena: Sam is so easily manipulated by the first girl person who calls him brave.  I would say I am surprised he’s behaving this way, considering what his father did to him, but part of it is probably his projecting what he would have liked someone to do for him (step in and save him/help him), and part of it is that maybe he realizes her father treats her even more shittily than his father treated him.

But the plan was just…stupid.  Has Sam like….never actually seen a pregnant woman?  Because I don’t think that’s going to work out too well on a march across the frozen north.

As a side note:  did Sam read romance novels or something?  Given that he’s said he’s read about sex and birthing babies?  What kind of library did his father have?

Also…what the fuuuuuck are they doing still at Craster’s?  Did they have to rebuild his hold in exchange for a night’s shelter?  NOT WORTH IT.

Rachel: Ah, yes. Camping with Craster. That is what I call all the bullshit filler in tv/novels/movies from now on. BECAUSE WHY ARE THEY STILL CAMPING AT CRASTER’S? This isn’t the first time the show has struggled with the passage of time, but even if you haven’t read the books it is weird. In the last episode the Lord Commander said they wouldn’t be staying long, and Theon is journeying, and Arya and Gendry are journeying, and Dany is dying in the wilderness so we know at least a few weeks have gone by! Except in the North where time … passes more slowly because time is very cold.

I guess in editing they decided they didn’t want to really move the Jon Snow plot line until later in the season so they would just…keep them camping at Craster’s.

Which sounds kind of like a terrible local access television show about….

Nevermind.

Rachel: It’s also really sad that Live-Action Aladdin died. Let’s have a moment of silence for Rakharo. 

Want more? Then check out the latest episode of Team More Wine Sir as we pour more wine and talk more about “The Nightlands”!

Game of Thrones Refresher Course: Episode Recap For Season 1

1          “Winter Is Coming”                                                            April 17, 2011

Robert Baratheon (King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros) and his Queen, Cersei Lannister, travel north to make his old friend Eddard “Ned” Stark – Lord of the frozen land of Winterfell – an offer he cannot refuse. Across the narrow sea in Essos, the exiled Prince Viserys Targaryen forges a new alliance to regain the Iron Throne; he will trade his sister Daenerys in marriage to the savage Dothraki warlord Khal Drogo in exchange for Drogo’s army. Back in Winterfell, Ned’s wife Catelyn receives a clue that may implicate members of the royal family in a murder, and their young son Bran makes a jaw-dropping discovery.

 

2          ”The Kingsroad”                                                      April 24, 2011

Bran’s fate remains in doubt. Having accepted his new role as the King’s Hand (the King’s closest confidant and chief bodyguard), Ned leaves his home in Winterfell with his daughters Sansa and Arya, while Catelyn stays behind to tend to Bran. Jon Snow, Ned’s bastard son, heads north to join the brotherhood of the Night’s Watch, protectors of the Wall that keeps the vicious “Others” and the savage wildlings from entering civilised Westeros. Tyrion Lannister, the Queen’s brother, decides to forego the trip south with his family, instead joining Jon’s entourage heading to the Wall. Viserys bides his time in hopes of winning back the throne, while Daenerys focuses her attention on learning how to please her new husband, Drogo.

 

3          “Lord Snow”                                                             May 1, 2011

Ned joins the King’s Small Council at King’s Landing, capital of the Seven Kingdoms, and learns just how poorly Westeros is being managed. Catelyn decides to go covertly to the south to warn her husband, but is intercepted by an old friend, Councillor Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish. Jon struggles to adapt to life on the Wall, as he trains with a number of low-born recruits who are not impressed by his bloodline. Tyrion, also visiting the Wall, is beseeched by the Watch Commander Lord Mormont to plead the King and Queen to send more men to join the Night’s Watch, for powerful enemies are massing beyond the Wall. Bran, now awake, is unable to recall how he fell. Daenerys, now possessing no small measure of control as Drogo’s “Khaleesi”, begins to stand up to Viserys.

 

4          “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things”          May 8, 2011

Ned searches for clues to the unexplained death of Jon Arryn (the former King’s Hand), and in the process uncovers King Robert’s illegitimate son. Robert and his guests witness a tournament honoring Ned. Jon takes measures to protect Samwell Tarly, an awkward and friendless boy, from the abuse of the Night’s Watchmen; a frustrated Viserys clashes with his newly-empowered sister; Sansa dreams of life as a queen, while Arya envisions a far different future. Catelyn rallies her father’s allies to make a point, while Tyrion finds himself caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

5          “The Wolf and the Lion”                                        May 15, 2011

Robert and Ned have an argument over how they should deal with the advance of the Targaryen/Dothraki alliance. Catelyn and Tyrion arrive at her sister Lysa’s home in the Eyrie. News of Tyrion’s kidnapping reaches King’s Landing where Jaime Lannister, the Queen’s twin brother, demands answers from Ned.

 

6          “A Golden Crown”                                                   May 22, 2011

Viserys threatens Daenerys’ safety when Drogo refuses to pay his debts. Ned is left in guard of the Iron Throne while the King goes to hunt, and learns the secret left by Jon Arynn.

 

7          “You Win or You Die”                                             May 29, 2011

Ned confronts Queen Cersei over the truth of Jon Arryn’s death as Robert, mortally wounded during his hunting, prepares to name his successor. Jon Snow takes the vows of the Night’s Watch. Khal Drogo summons his army to invade Westeros after Robert conspires to poison Daenerys. Robert appoints Ned as Regent of the Iron Throne, who will rule until his heir is of age. Ned brings the King’s declaration before Cersei, Joffrey (eldest of the King’s children), and the Small Council. Ned asks Baelish to secure the cooperation of the City Watch in removing the Lannisters from the throne – Joffrey is not Robert’s son but Jaime’s, he reveals, making Stannis Baratheon (Robert’s older brother) the true heir. However, the loyalty of Baelish and the City Watch lies with the Lannisters: Ned is swiftly captured, and his men killed.

 

8          “The Pointy End”                                                     June 5, 2011

As the Lannisters press their advantage over the Starks, Ned’s eldest son, Robb, rallies his family’s allies to war. Sansa pleads with Joffrey to spare her father’s life while Ned, still captive in the dungeons, finds an unexpected ally in Councillor Lord Varys. Jon and the Night’s Watch confront an ancient evil from beyond the Wall, while across the Narrow Sea, Drogo’s army marches west towards the Seven Kingdoms.

 

9          “Baelor”                                                                    June 12, 2011                      

As the Stark and Lannister armies prepare for their first battle against one another, Tyrion leads his barbarian allies into battle while Robb and Catelyn bargain for a renegade Lord’s help. With Drogo dying from his infected wound, Daenerys goes to desperate measures to save her husband’s life by using a witch’s blood magic, much to the horror of the Dothraki. At the Wall, a Targaryen reveals himself – and the price of loyalty – to Jon, who worries about events outside of the Wall. In a final bid to save his daughters’ lives, Ned falsely confesses to conspiracy and swears fealty to Joffrey as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. To the horror of Ned’s daughters – and delight of the assembled crowd- Joffrey has him executed regardless.

 

10       “Fire and Blood”                                                     June 19, 2011

The news of Ned’s execution quickly spreads to all corners of the Seven Kingdoms, triggering seismic events for each member of the Stark family. The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms and proclaims Robb as their King. With Jaime captured by the Starks and Robert’s brothers challenging Joffrey’s claim to the throne, Lord Tywin Lannister assigns his son Tyrion as King’s Hand to keep Joffrey and Cersei in check. Jon plans to desert his post at the Wall to avenge his father; his friends convince him to stay, and he joins the Night’s Watch in an expedition to confront the foes massing beyond the Wall. Daenerys learns to her sorrow that her unborn son is dead and her Drogo has been left in a vegetative state due to the witch’s treacherous magic. Unable to bear her husband’s ruin, Daenerys ends his life and lights a funeral pyre. She burns the witch alive alongside Drogo’s body and her three dragon’s eggs, and walks into the flames herself as the fire reaches its peak. When the embers die the following morning, Daenerys rises, unharmed, flanked by three newborn dragons.

Game of Thrones Refresher Course: Notable Characters

Yesterday I covered the two major warring families, The Starks and The Lannisters. But there are a lot more characters at play that don’t belong to either one of those families. You can see some of the notable characters from season one below.

:::Note: There might be spoilers ahead if you haven’t finished season 1, or read the novel series by George R.R. Martin.:::

  • Daenerys Targaryen: The exiled princess of the Targaryen dynasty. “The Stormborn” Sister to Viserys. She and her brother were smuggled to Essos during the end of Robert’s Rebellion. She spent 17 years under the care of her brother, only to have him marry her off to the powerful Dothraki warlord, Kahl Drogo. Even though she is first afraid of her new husband, she learns their ways and their language; she genuinely falls in love with him. The more she embraced the Dothraki culture, the more powerful and courageous she became and later rebels against her brother who is still trying to control her. She becomes pregnant, and her baby is prophesized to be a conqueror that will unite the world. Unfortunately, she loses both her husband and her unborn child due to the tricks my Mirri. In revenge she kills Mirri by burning her into a pyre, but this ends up hatching the three dragon eggs Daenerys carries with her.
    • Played by Emilia Clarke.
  • Viserys Targaryen: The exiled prince and heir to the Targaryen dynasty. People call him the “Beggar king” because of his search for an army that will help him reclaim the throne. He is incredibly arrogant, and self-centered and abusive both physically and mentally to his sister. He marries his sister off in exchange for an army to recapture the throne but the Dothraki are less than receptive to his disrespect of their culture and their new queen, his sister. In a drunken rage he threatens Drogo and Daenerys. Drogo kills him by pouring melted gold over his head; giving him the “golden crown” he always wanted.
    • Played by Harry Lloyd.
  • Petyr Baelish: The Master of Coin in King Robert Baratheon’s Small Council. He grew up with Catelyn Stark and had actually fought Ned’s brother for her hand in marriage. He knows most of the ongoing affairs across the Seven Kingdoms because of several of his spies. Petyr is initially thought to be an ally of Ned, but he secretly resents him for marrying the love of his life Catelyn. He also aims to take the Iron Throne and punish the powerful nobles who look down on him.
    • Played by Aidan Gillen.
  • Jorah Mormont: An exiled knight I service of Daenerys. In order to fund his wife’s lifestyle of the wealthy, he sold poachers on his land to slave traders, which is illegal.  Instead of being punished, he fled to Essos where he banded with the Dothraki. They know him as Jorah the Andal. He also serves as an advisor and translator for the Targaryens for all things going on in the kingdoms. Jorah is actually a spy for lord Varys in exchange for pardons on his crimes. But he falls in love Daenerys and ultimately decides to help and protect her.
    • Played by Iain Glen
  • Theon Greyjoy: A hostage and ward of the Starks stemming from a failed rebellion. Despite this, he is loyal to Ned and is good friends with Robb and Jon. He never questions his position until Tyrion tells him he nothing more than a servant. Nevertheless, he remains loyal to Robb when he goes to war against the Lannisters and supports the decision of succession.
    • Played by Alfie Allen.
  • Robert Baratheon: Former king of the Seven Kingdoms. He was originally meant to marry Ned’s sister Lyanna, but she was killed and he entered into a political marriage with Cercei Lannister. He becomes deeply indebted to Cercei’s family during his reign. He is killed while hunting, and unknowingly leaves no rightful heir.
    • Played by Mark Addy.
  • Renly Baratheon: The Lord of Storm’s End. He is the youngest brother of King Robert and Master of Laws in the Small Council. He is handsome and well liked among the people. He is also secretly the lover of Ser Loras Tyrell, the Knight of the Flowers. Renly challenges his nephew, Joffrey’s, claim to the throne.
    • Played by Gethin Anthony.
  • Tywin Lannister: He is the Lord of Casterly Rock, Shield of Lannisport and Warden of the West. He was the former Hand of the King to King Aerys II. He is also the father of Cercei, Jaime, and Tyrion. He given the Hand of the King position again by Joffery, but after Ned is executed, and Joffery’s claim to the throne is questioned, Tywin decides to remain in the field commanding forces.
    • Played by Charles Dance.

Game of Thrones Refresher Course: The Lannisters and The Starks

 

The politics between the two major families of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” can get a little confusing. You can see a breakdown of the major characters from both families below:

:::Note: There might be spoilers ahead if you haven’t finished season 1, or read the novel series by George R.R. Martin.:::

The Lannisters:

  • Tyrion Lannister: A dwarf nicknamed “The Imp”. He is the younger brother of Cersei and Jaime Lannister. He was blamed for the death of his mother during childbirth. He described as being the “cunning” brother and often uses his wits and quick thinking to his advantage when in tight situations.  Unlike the rest of his family, he initially does not hold any ill feelings towards the Stark family. That does change when he is wrongly captures and imprisoned by Lady Catelyn. He is later sent to rule as Hand of the King.
    • He is portrayed by Peter Dinklage.
  • Cercei Lannister: Queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros and the wife of King Robert Baratheon. Despite being married to the king, she has carried on a lengthy incestuous affair with her brother Jaime since childhood. She does claim to have loved King Robert once, but due to his never-ending love of Lyanna, she grew to hate him. Her current three children are actually she and Jaime’s.  She wants nothing but her family to be all-powerful.
    • She is portrayed by Lena Headey.
  • Jaime Lannister: A member of the Kingsguard and the Queen’s twin brother. Spent his life having an incestuous relationship with her and fathered all three of her children. He is nicknamed the “Kingslayer” because he killed the previous king, Aerys II, even though he had sworn to protect him. He truly hates the fact that no one feels he deserves his rank and position. Despite the constant animosity between Ned and Jaime, Jaime does respect him. He considered Ned to be a great warrior and his equal. Unlike his father and his sister, Jaime cares a great deal for Tyrion. Going so far as to attack Ned when Tyrion is imprisoned. Jaime later joins his father’s campaign at the Riverlands but is later made a prisoner of the Starks.
    • He is portrayed by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
  • King Joffrey: Eldest son of Cersei and her brother Jaime. Even as a child he is vicious and cruel and will lie and cheat to get what he wants or get out of trouble.  But when someone actually confronts him he is a coward. He does not know that Jaime is his real father. He is made king, against his father’s will. He is a puppet king, taking orders from his mother. His downfall begins when he refuses to honor the promise of sparing Ned’s life and instead has his executed. His kinghood is threatened when Jaime is captures by the Starks and his uncles Renley and Stannis challenge his claim to the Iron Throne.
    • He is portrayed by Jack Gleeson.

 

The Starks:

  • Catelyn Stark: The Lady of Winterfell and wife of Lord Eddard. She had figured out that the Lannisters were to blame for the attempts on her son, Bran’s life. During a chance encounter with Tyrion, she arrests and imprisons him. After Ned is arrested and her eldest son Robb goes to war, she joins her son’s war council. After learning Ned was executed, she vows that the Lannister family will pay for the act with their lives.
    • She is portrayed by Michelle Fairley.
  • Eddard “Ned” Stark: The Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. Serves as The Hand of the King after Jon Arryn’s death. His sister Lyanna was kidnapped during Robert’s Rebellion. Ned cares little for politics and prefers to rule with honor and law. While investigating the death of Jon Arryn, he uncovers that all of the Queen’s children were fathered by her brother. When he confronts her about it, he gives her a chance to flee before telling the King. Instead she imprisons him and accuses him of trying to steal the throne from Joffrey. After being promised e would serve on the Night’s Watch, Joffrey has him executed.
    • He was portrayed by Sean Bean.
  • Bran Stark: The second son and fourth child of Ned and Catelyn. He called his direwolf Summer. He accidently catches the Queen and Jaime during a romp, and Jaime then shoves him out the window almost killing him, and ultimately crippling his legs.
    • He is portrayed by Isaac Hempstead-Wright.
  • Robb Stark: The eldest son of Ned and Catelyn and the heir to Winterfell. He named his direwolf Grey Wind. Robb becomes involved in the war against the Lannisters after he father is arrested for treason. He called upon his father’s bannerman and his mother’s allies to lead a war effort against the Lannisters and they successfully capture Jaime. After Ned is executed, the North and the Riverlands declare independence from the Seven Kingdoms and proclaim Robb as their new King.
    • He is portrayed by Richard Madden.
  • Sansa Stark: The first daughter and second child of Ned and Catelyn.  She is set to become the future bride of Joffrey. She named her direwolf Lady. Sansa lives in a world of naiveté and fairytales. She is unwilling to see the harsh realties of the world around her especially in regards to the politics and rivalries forming. Her world first begins to shatter when Lady is killed and her father is arrested. She becomes a hostage to the Lannisters in order for them to have a claim to the North. She finally sees the world and Joffrey for what it is after he executes her father despite promising her he would spare him. Sansa plans to kill Joffrey to avenge her father.
    • She is portrayed by Sophie Turner.
  • Arya Stark: The youngest daughter and third child of Ned and Catelyn. A tomboy through and through. She would rather train with weapons than sew or worry about who she will marry. She named her direwolf Nymeria. She takes sword-fighting lessons from her “dance” teacher Syrio who later manages to help her escape the Lannisters. She disguises herself as an orphan boy by a Night’s Watch recruiter, Yoren, in hopes of getting back to Winterfell.
    • She is portrayed by Maisie Williams.
  • Jon Snow: The bastard son of Ned. He joins the Night’s Watch. Ned claimed that his mother was a wet nurse named Wylla. He named his direwolf Ghost because of its albinism and quite nature. He also has the best hair ever seen.
    • He is portrayed by Kit Harington.

Game of Thrones Refresher Course: The Complex History of Westeros

The history of Westeros appears to have been going on at least 12,000 years, give or take a few hundred years. Beginning with the time that the First Men appeared with their bronze weapons and their relatively domestic horses.

As always there was a war between them and the Children of the Forest, a diminutive race who lived in harmony with nature and employed powerful magic. However this was resolved when the Pact of the Isle of Faces was created with the First Men taking control of the open lands and the Children remaining in the forests, allowing peace between them for 4,000 years.

Unfortunately, The Pact was weakened after four thousand years by the emergence of the Others, an enigmatic race from the furthermost north, who swept south into Westeros and caused great death and destruction, bringing about a night that lasted a generation and a winter that lasted decades.

Then, as it always happens, the Andals came (roughly 6,000 years ago) and they brought deadly iron weapons, and a brand new religion and with that the slaughtering of children and even more despair.

It is believed that the six southern kingdoms during that time fell to the Andals while the North as we know was not overrun.

Over time six great and powerful kingdoms were forged across Westeros: the Kingdom of the North, the Kingdom of the Iron Islands, the Kingdom of Vale and Sky, the Kingdom of the Rock, the Kingdom of the Storm Kings and the Kingdom of the Reach. A seventh kingdom—that of the Riverlands—was repeatedly conquered by its neighbors and eventually destroyed altogether, while the small desert kingdoms in the far south of Westeros were divided by constant war.

Five centuries later, the expanding Valyrian Freehold had reached the east coast of the Narrow Sea and established links with Westeros, using the island of Dragonstone as a trading port. A century later the Valyrian Freehold was destroyed by a cataclysmic disaster of volcanic eruptions and earthquakes, known as The Doom of Valyria, and resulting in a smoking unstable wasteland of ghosts and legends. The Valyrian family that controlled Dragonstone, the Targaryens, spent a further century in preparing their forces, and then launched a devastating invasion of Westeros under Aegon the Conqueror. Although their forces were small, they had with them the last three dragons in the western world and they were able to use these to overtake the continent. Six of the Seven Kingdoms were conquered in this initial war, but Dorne resisted so fiercely that Aegon agreed to let them remain independent. The Targaryens adopted the native Faith of the Seven (although they still married brother to sister in the ancient Valyrian tradition in defiance of the Faith’s teachings) and Westerosi customs, and within a few decades had crushed all resistance to their rule. Dorne was eventually absorbed through marriage-alliance. The last dragons died out a century and a half into the Targaryen rule, but by this time they had become the ruling power on the continent and their rule was not challenged.

It is said that after the Andals, things in the world began to settle, and became more strictly recorded creating the accepted history.

The oldest histories we have were written after the Andals came to Westeros. The First Men only left us runes on rocks, so everything we think we know about the Age of Heroes and the Dawn Age and the Long Night comes from accounts set down by septons thousands of years later.” (A Feast for Crows)

It should be noted that since the oldest parts of the history were written after the Andals, that everything known before than is merely rumor and hearsay. Legends and stories, and oral histories are what make up the tumultuous years before.

This opens the history up to questions, which does happen with Samwell, who is the first to begin questions the truth behind what is claimed to be history. While pre-Andal history is more than murky and questionable, even the post-Andal world is uncertain when it comes to certain dates and events.

Another problem with the complicated history is that much of the popular history comes from oral stories passed around from troubadours, to travelers, to gossipers all over the world. Did the singers take Aegon the Unworthy’s innuendos about his siblings the Dragonknight and Naerys and turn them into one of the great romances of the Seven Kingdoms? It is probable. While this form of storyteller is quite magical and attention catching, it doesn’t help that things are often exaggerated, and misunderstood which in turn creates a new story for history.

While there is no answer, yet, about why all of a sudden the commonly accepted history is now being questioned, I think we can reasonably assume that this will come up eventually and probably affect everything we have come to accept about the setting of A Song of Ice and Fire. 

“Game of Thrones” Refresher Course: How The Seasons Work

For new fans of the hit HBO series, “Game of Thrones” things might be a little confusing at first. Everything is foreign (unless you have read the series by George R.R. Martin) and you might need a refresher course on the series.

So, for those who need it: How the seasons work in the world of “Game of Thrones”

The weather is one the first things anyone ever mentions when describing the setting of the book or the series. This is mainly because the weather and seasons of the world plays such a huge role in the lives of everyone who lives there. “Winter is coming” is not merely a weather forecast by House Stark, but a phrase of foreboding and even terror for those who have never seen a winter.

The problem comes with that fact the seasons are hardly predictable. What we do know is that when it is summer in Westeros it is also summer for the rest of hemisphere. The southern hemisphere however, will experience the opposite.

It is unclear what causes the wild unpredictable seasons in the world but with the several theories out and about in the forums, the author of the series has stated simply that it is magic. It seems that magic causes some sort of planet wide force that affects the tilt of the earth or manages the seasons in erratic ways. While many dislike this answer, it is about the best we get for explanation.

When talking about the seasons of the world, the question of measuring years always comes up. Martin has stated that since a year is related by the completion of one revolution around the sun and the seasons are just a minor effect. It is reasonable to assume the Masters of the Citadel are doing a good job keeping up with time using their observations and data using the stars. While this is most definitely a daunting task, it makes sense since the Conclave of the Citadel goes over amassed records before they declare the start of a new season.

Another one of the most popular questions asked is how people are expected to survive a TEN year winter. And even more, how did people previously survive the Long Winter, which was rumored to have lasted a generation? It seems that we won’t know those answers. For starters we don’t know how long the Long Winter really was, but we do know for sure there have been several years long winters in recent memory not to mention they southern hemisphere is experiencing one currently in the series.

However, it seems unlikely that those of the poorer regions, would be able to survive without food stores that could last that long (considering even grain can only be stored for roughly 3 years), or get the proper vitamins and nutrients they need in years and years of winter. The rich and well off could make it, given that they have the resources in place for such winters. But maybe the easiest answer is just to say once again it is magic.

Basically, the famous phrase “Winter in coming” is a terrible omen of the hardships that are to come. Also don’t think too hard about the actually mechanics of the seasons, remember: It’s magic.

Tackling The Hunger Games Film – A Review With Illustrations

Elena-

I have to start this discussion by donning my hipster glasses and saying, “I liked The Hunger Games back when it was called Battle Royale.”  Because seriously, after watching this movie I am embarrassed for Collins at how similar her first book is to the Japanese original.  I mean, I thought the story sounded similar before I saw the movie (no, I have not read the books), but I figured the execution would make it obvious the similar premises were coincidental…holy crap, no.  So many details were the same, just shifted to a different world.  It really was like she just re-told the story in a different context.  If the similarity between the stories was truly convergent creativity, someone at her publisher needs to be fired for not knowing the market of dystopian gladiatorial games better and asking her to make it less similar in edits.

More specifically than the idea of the government forcing teenagers to fight to the death as a display of state power and a punishment for rebellious violence, we have:

-The opening scenario with weapons and supplies in the middle to either be fought over or abandoned to the player’s disadvantage

-The protagonists’ strategy of run to the fringes and let the bulk of the competitors kill each other off

-The manipulation of the game environment by the gamemaster in order to herd the players who run to the fringes back to the others

-The clear announcement of who has died so the competitors know who is left to kill

-The gang mentality where some of the players group together to kill everyone else off first

-The super crazy psycho killers who are masterful players—in BR they were past winners, here they are the District 1 and 2 kids who train for the games their whole lives

-The two protagonists who manage to remain morally superior, only killing those who attack them, shielding the weaker as they can, and relying on their trust in one another to make it through the game

-The ending where the two lovers won’t kill each other and defy the gamemaster and survive…and the gamemaster does not.

There is just no way this is anything except an American re-envisioning of the original.  The parallels are too pervasive and consistent.  We live in an age of remakes, so I wouldn’t even care that it’s a remake—hell, as remakes go this is an impressive and exceptionally creative one, and if they were all like this I wouldn’t mind them so much—except for the disavowal of a connection.  I think it’s publisher-driven, because they didn’t want to get sued or have to pay rights.  Fine.  Keep your plausible deniability…but the rest of us know better.

Removes decorative spectacles.

So, now that my bit of truth-telling is out of my system, what did I think about the movie?

I liked it more than I expected to.  While it was worse than I expected in terms of seeming like a rip-off of another book/movie (BR was also both), it was better than I expected in terms of immersion and character engagement.  I could see what makes the story and the setting so intriguing and why so many people are obsessed with the series.  It had that crack-like quality of plausible WTF that is so fun and enticing and contagious.

Rachel-

What I liked:

Jennifer Lawrence. I like her for lots of reasons. That she has a normal body, an expressive face and a killer sense of humor is a given. All pros. She also IS Katniss. She’s got that whole stoic, tortured survivor-girl thing DOWN. I loved her. I’m not convinced her acting was the product of Director Gary Ross’ actual direction or if this girl just has incredible instincts. She was wonderful in Winter’s Bone. I’m tending to give her all of the credit. She even made all those stupid costumes look great.

Elena-

Absolutely agree that credit goes to Lawrence and not Ross here.

Rachel-

The rest of the cast was pretty solid. I wasn’t convinced of Woody Harrelson’s Haymitch but he sold it. Josh Hutcherson’s Peeta was perfect (if a little TOO enthusiastic about conjuring paint and brushes, plus his “confused” face pretty much made me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME), but every time he did his shit eater grin during the interviews I thought, “damn you, Peeta!” It’s hard to judge Liam Hemsworth’s Gale, since he only had about five lines, but he seemed capable of killing many squirrels.

Elena-

Gale was a total Spiller! Ergo…husband material?

Rachel-

Exactly! TOTAL Spiller! Even if the actorkid is dating Miley Cyrus. We can forgive him youthful indiscretions. Anyways, where was I?

I thought Elizabeth Banks’ Effie was perfect. Stanley Tucci’s Caesar Flickerman was delightfully manic while Lenny Kravitz’ Cinna was…well he was really bad. The only stinky acting in the entire flick. Whenever he was on screen I could hear the rest of the crew wandering around the set in my head because it was always so jarring.

Elena-

Banks was one of the stand-outs for me, too.  I forgot she was in it, and it took most of the train ride for me to figure out that she was Effie.  I didn’t find Cinna that bad, but perhaps not as charismatic as he should have been to gain Katniss’s immediate and absolute trust in his vision as a designer?

Rachel-

Whatever. He came off as a creepy weirdo.

I also liked that they chose to do so much of the filming on location. Mostly because the stuff they didn’t do on location looked like crap.

Elena-

I was so underwhelmed by the capital city and the buildings in it (did the night shot of the city look like New York to anyone else?).  I mean, maybe Katniss and Peeta don’t know any better, but we do.  That shit was not impressive.  And the sets around President Sutherland looked so…fake!  The capital is made out of plastic.  How has the revolution not happened already?

The fashionistas of the capital were right up my alley, though—my lavender Marie Antoinette Mardi Gras wig would work perfectly at a sponsors party, for example—and I thought the costume and make-up design were off the charts for the city folk, even if the in-games costumes were l-a-m-e.

Rachel-

The in game costumes were whatever. The Chariot costumes? YOU GUYS… is that what you envisioned when you read the description of the flaming cape/unitard thing? IS IT? Complete with terrible TERRIBLE CGI? And she’s got her hands above her head the whole time, even when the chariots park themselves in front of President Snow (TEAM SNOW!) she’s still got her hands above her head and Snow is starting to talk and she’s STILL GOT HER HANDS ABOVE HER HEAD… .
What else did I like?

The adaptation: Look, we all know it’s fucking hard to adapt a book into a film. It’s a lot of story to fit into two hours. Characters and side stories will be cut. Scenes will be streamlined. These things are a given. The Hunger Games manages to feel like it’s a page by page recreation even when it is not, and that is awesome.

I also liked that extra scenes were added that covered the things happening during the arena time. Adding in the riot in District 11 was really smart. Totally sets us up for the next books.

Things I didn’t like so much:

The Pacing. If there is one fundamental flaw in the entire film, it is that there wasn’t enough time spent in creating relationships between Katniss and the other characters. It’s REALLY important that Katniss have emotional connections to people. But even though Gary Ross sent us through all of the preparations before The Hunger Games begin, there just wasn’t any connection between Katniss and the other characters. It was a problem that kept coming up whenever a scene occurred in which the audience was supposed to be emotionally moved. I had a really hard time with this. When people died, I didn’t care. I was more interested in seeing Katniss survive whatever the next crisis would be. I regarded other characters as nuisances. This was especially true with Peeta and Rue.

I KNOW!

Stop screaming at me and let me explain.

Peeta is awesome. He’s a natural actor, a charismatic boy with a sympathetic heart. Strong on the inside and fluffy on the outside. The exact opposite of Katniss. I get it. But in the film he barely has any skills at all. He’s basically dead weight. Sure he can smile and interview well but once he gets in the games it was all “I’m just going to wander around and then lay in this mud and be useless”. When it comes time for Katniss and Peeta to join back up, that pivotal scene in which Katniss screams out Peeta’s name never happened. Peeta’s injuries were also not as terrible in the film as they were in the novel. We end up with this weirdly awkward scene in which Katniss takes care of a fellow District 12 tribute with weird stalker tendencies and an inability to respect Katniss’s boundaries. Then they kiss, and it’s like…huh? She likes him? WHY?

And I’ve read (and love) the novels. What the hell must this film be like for someone who hasn’t read the books? Is there any emotional connection at all?

Elena-

Ha, ha, ha, let me jump in and give you my take on these issues.

In terms of connections to characters other than Peeta—Rue was the only other character it seemed like Katniss was meant to have a connection with.  And I felt like her reaction to Rue’s death was a projection.  I didn’t think there was much of a connection between them except that she saw Rue as an analog for Prim, and what might have happened to Prim if Katniss hadn’t taken her place, so when Rue died Katniss had this weird translation of having failed to protect her sister, because Rue was like her sister.  It wasn’t about Rue; it was about Katniss.

Now, when it comes to her and Peeta…I literally did not know (and still do not, not having read the books) if Katniss was in the cave nursing Peeta and going to get medicine for him because she actually gave a shit about him or if it was because she’s the protector type and could not have lived with herself for not saving him, the same way she could not have lived with herself for not saving her sister.  Did she mean the kiss, or had she finally grasped that maybe they should play to the cameras?  So as to there being a connection between them…on his part, absolutely.  On hers…I still don’t know.

Also, Team Peeta! I liked him so much better than Gale! JV Hemsworth might be more objectively hot, but I find Hutcherson cute as hell, so that’s a wash…but I liked Peeta’s character better.

True, Gale didn’t get to do much but be the strong silent sulking type, and Peeta was not exactly heroic—at least, not at first.  But he exhibited a level of self-awareness and insight that I gravitated to almost immediately.  Peeta recognizes that he doesn’t have the skills to survive a death-match, and he can admit that he never went out of his way to be kind even to the girl he had a crush on.  The best he could manage was a careless act of charity that rated Katniss only minutely higher than the family’s pig.  In the games he certainly doesn’t kick ass and take names (and that is even with the fact that his part apparently got butched up somewhat from his role in the book…or at least that’s the impression some of my book-reading friends have given me).

But Peeta is one of the supporting players who set up Katniss for the big win, which she could not have done completely on her own.

See, here’s the thing—and book people may disagree with this, and that’s fine, but this is how this played out in the movie, and so we will just have to agree to disagree—Katniss is surrounded by people who play the part of the game that she refuses to play, for her, and she survives because they did.

Her producers (whatever the hell Effie and Haymitch and Cinna were called…they seemed like producers to me so that is what I’m calling them) were obviously the most creative in the group.  The other producers should all have been operating on Cinna’s philosophy of “I want to make them NOTICE you,” instead of paying homage to what had been done before.

Haymitch gives Katniss and Peeta the advice of “make them like you,” which Katniss basically disregards and which Peeta grabs like a lifeline.  He is hamming it up to the crowds from the beginning, while she sits there all better than that and disgusted; he grabs her hand as they roll around on fire so everyone can see that they consider themselves a team, and then he jokes with the interviewer and admits that his special girl is in fact one of his competitors.  (Hell, he’s smart enough to manipulate her into holding his hand on the chariot in the first place, which I don’t think was a move calculated to the crowd, just a desire for comfort and contact until she rejected it, at which point he was like, “how can I convince her to touch me?”)  His admission of his crush was true, but his decision to admit it was a conscious spin on his character as a competitor, and it paid off.  It made Katniss part of a larger story that made her seem human and relatable, when on her own she was perhaps too strong and intimidating.  Everyone wants to root for an underdog, and the doomed love angle made Katniss and Peeta as a pair underdogs; when on her own she was a favorite.  Would she have gotten the sponsor who saved her leg without the producers who made everyone notice her and Peeta’s actions to make them feel sorry for her?

My take-away was that Katniss is basically Harry Potter.  Sure, no one but her could have won the games if they were dealt the hand she was…but she couldn’t have, either, without the help of the people around her.  Peeta is basically Hermione, is what I’m saying.  And I do love me some brains over brawn…

…Which is why, TEAM PEETA!

Ahem.  The uncertainty of Katniss’s motives also made the ending more poignant, because he’s still standing their declaring his love, and I still don’t know what she thinks about the kid.

So maybe that’s a fail.  There were others.

Rachel-

One other thing I hated: THE CAMERA WORK. WHAT. THE. FUCK. It was like watching Cloverfield. The shaky cam with the extreme close ups. I became intimately connected with all the hairs on Jennifer’s Lawrence’s face. That’s how close the camera was all the damn time. And whenever there was a fight it was all, “KIDS ARE KILLING KIDS BUT WE CAN’T SHOW YOU BECAUSE WE’LL LOSE OUR RATING SO PLEASE ENJOY GRUNTING AND BLURRY SHOTS OF TREES. AND BLONDE KIDS, ANY OF WHOM COULD BE PEETA BUT ARE NOT.”

Ya know what doesn’t work when you have super HD close up shots framing the entire movie? Shitty effects. Especially any time at all when there was fire (srsly, the fire outfits for the chariot parade? WTH? It looked like a homemade music video from 1998).  And the muttations. CGI disasters. Totally a product of the film being written, cast, filmed, edited and marketing in a six-month period. Good shit needs TIME. Unfortunately, the film is hobbled by having to rush things.

Elena-

Oh, yeah.  The cinematic filming itself was competent but not special, if excessively soap-operatic, but the effects were obviously a rush job.  And the fires? I thought it was a joke when she said, “oh, yeah, it’s real,” because to me they looked so fake.  Like anyone was fooled!

What bothered me most, though, was the dearth of good violence.  The fact that it was PG-13 really limited the brutality of the games, and that works in opposition to what Rachel has expressed as one of the key themes of the book—our culture’s use of violence as entertainment.  By virtue of maintaining an all-ages rating, this movie could not be so brutally violent that we the audience could question the film as entertainment; we became the people of the capital, watching the games and the deaths for fun.

Aside from the fact that the action sequences are hardly comprehensible because the cameras and edits move so quickly, the violence was disappointing in its utter lack of creativity.  Not a single death in all of the dozen we saw onscreen was memorable?  That’s kind of sad.  If you’re going to riff off of something else, at least take all the good shit (since BR has a few choice deaths).  Or go watch Shoot ʼEm Up and Sukiyaki Western Django a few times to get some good demises to steal from them.

Rachel-

In the end, and I have seen this film twice now, I would look around the theater thinking that I had not drunk the kool-aid that made many of the people around me deliriously happy with the film. While I think the movie is good and happily saw it again, I found it to be anemic. Without the guts that make a film actually emotionally connect with the audience. I feel that if you do not step into the theater with the knowledge that reading the books give you, that you’ve got no chance of really feeling anything while watching the movie.

Elena-

I think the experience of the film for those who haven’t read the books is much more about what you project onto the characters than about what the film directly makes you feel.  There are moments where the emotions swamp you, but in general it’s you consciously projecting yourself into that situation and that environment.  The movie entertains, but it’s not a masterpiece.  I’d watch it again, but it didn’t make me want to run out and read the book.  Perhaps that is the most scathing indictment I could offer.

Rachel-

All that being said…I’m really excited that a science fiction film with a young girl as the protagonist has done so amazingly well at the box office. It makes me excited for the future of this franchise and the future of other unmade films.

WAR IS COMING – The Ladies of Ice and Fire Anticipate The Upcoming Season of Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones will begin its second season on April 1st. Rachel and Elena are super-excited to be back in their respective courts of fire and ice. Below they discuss their anticipations about the upcoming season. This particular post is relatively spoiler-free (character names are used, but nothing else). Be warned – episode-by-episode discussions will not be spoiler free through the currently aired episode, and Rachel’s reactions will not be spoiler-free through A Dance with Dragons.

Elena will be watching with the fresh eyes of a summer child, while you may regard Rachel’s viewpoint as that of the grizzled veteran with missing limbs.

Elena-

So I guess Game of Thrones is about to start back up on HBO, huh?  I…think I’m ready for that.  I gotta be honest, last year I suffered from ATF (Acute Throne Fatigue) what with having spent over a year reading the damn first book, writing up a chapter by chapter reaction, and having my opinions of it vivisected…and then podcasting about every episode…and then jumping into the fandom mash-ups.  Fun as all of that was, it was exhausting, and I really just hit a wall—The Wall, if you will—with the series.

About the time comments on the first trailer for the new season hit my Facebook wall, though, and I was reminded that April wasn’t all that far off, I thought…hey, maybe I should go finish the first book.  (For the record:  I have not acted on this thought.  I am not sure where my copy is.  Buried under mastiff direwolf hair on the back floorboard of my car, perhaps? But I thought it, and as we all know it is the thought that counts, right?  RIGHT?!?)

And I also thought…I’m kind of excited about new episodes of this series.  I’ve actually re-watched a few episodes of Season 1 since then, if I happened to turn on the TV and one of my favorite episodes—or just scenes, in some cases—was on.

I have not watched any trailers for the new season.  I don’t know if I want to.  I have managed pretty well to avoid spoilers so far, and while I’m sure HBO is careful not to spoil any real plot points, I’m afraid of seeing something that I might be able to pair with some other not-on-its-own-a-spoiler information I have and put two and two together.  And the thing is, I don’t need to see the trailers to know I’m going to keep watching the show. I’m excited about it based on the fact that I loved the first season. The production was quality, and the story and characters hooked me, so really I’m just ready to keep rolling down the midnight highway that is ASOIF without any LED-billboards up ahead breaking up the darkness.

Also, I heart Bronn and Lancel.  The scenes I re-watched made me realize they are my favorite minor (?) characters from Season 1.  TEAM BADASS FTW!  And also yay whatever team Lancel plays on.  Team More Wine, Sir?, perhaps?  YES. As a resident of New Orleans, I can get behind that team!

Rachel:

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that I am READY for Season 2. I’M SO READY, YOU GUYS! Every time a cab passes me with a “War is Coming” ad on it I think to myself, “Self, you should get in that cab because that cab is as excited about Game of Thrones as you are.” I know this isn’t true, but I’m particularly vulnerable to fandom-based marketing.

Despite the fact that there hasn’t been a lot of physical marketing for Season 2 (no food trucks! A constant source of depression for my friends and I), I think HBO has firmly cast its lot with the Game of Thrones fans (seriously, I am not calling myself a “Thronie,” wtf is that?) The “fan” t-shirts and posters are great (the new design for the Stark t-shirt, THANK YOU!) and the “The King can do as he likes” poster and booth that they debuted at Wondercon…that right there is proof that if you market to fans in a non douchebag corporate way – you win!

The character featurettes that have been posting all on HBO.com are wonderful! They introduce lots of new characters without spoiling any of the incredible storyline that is coming at us come April 1st. Plus I get to enjoy all the manips and gifs hitting Tumblr, and that just makes me even MORE excited (warning, the Game of Thrones tag on Tumblr is probably not safe for those wishing to remain unspoiled). I’m not sure if the digital media only advertising track is going to bring in new viewers, but at this point word of mouth might just be HBO’s greatest hope on that front. Even if the “War is Coming” fist poster looks more like “Angry Jesus is Coming” than “Baratheon Boys gonna FIGHT”. It does. Don’t even bother getting grumpy about it. It could easily be mistaken for an evangelical billboard of doom.

Also, judging from those character featurettes, not only will we be enjoying some awesome new characters (Lobsterking! Delicious Knight! Weirdly evangelical sexy lady! Lady Knight! The Brother Taunter! The Girl Who Knows Everything!) We’ll be getting expanded content of some already established characters. (I’m looking at you, people of Highgarden!)

Whose storyline are you most excited to pick up again?

Elena-

Hm.  Tough one here.  Probably Arya’s, just because hers has the most likely chance of immediate resolution.  I mean, she is currently on her way to The Wall to be reunited with her bestest brother evah, Jon Snow, Who Knows Where To Put It (that is officially his name now.  Does it make an easy acronym the way ASOIF does?  JSWKWTPI.  No.  FAIL.  Oh well, I’ll just type it out every time then).  So, either she gets there and goes on ice as a character the way Jon has (heh, on ice…at The Wall made of…ice. Yeesssssssssss), or she doesn’t get there.  Either way I think it will wrap up quickly?  Or she’ll spend the entirety of Season 2 traveling, in which case her story will be almost as boring as Dany’s was last season!

This is not to say I am a Dany-hater—the horse-heart-chomping convinced me on her—but her story?  Way too drawn-out, at least in the books…it might have played better on screen, but after 8 months I am conflating my multi-media experience of Season 1.  Also I am getting off topic.  So, yeah, Arya’s whom I want to pick up with the most.

I am also excited to see more of Rob King In The North Stark but that’s really more because he makes my eyeballs steam.  More of that please!

Rachel-

In an attempt to keep at this anticipatory post as spoiler-free as possible I will say that I am excited to see Jon Snow’s story-line for obvious reasons if you have read A Clash of Kings and if you haven’t well…stuff. Reasons.

I’m also excited for the Blackwater and for Baratheon against Baratheon shenanigans. Also Robb Stark and King in the North stuff!

Character you are most excited about in Season 2?

Elena-

For me I’m actually going to go Dany.  She ended last season in a literal conflagration of all that her life had been.  And she walked out of the ashes with dragons. DRAGONS, you guys!  That’s a pretty blank canvas for her to repaint herself and her life with.  Rachel has laughed wickedly at me for intimating I thought her book/season 1 arc was slow-paced, so I am not sure I have huge expectations for her…but I am really excited to see where she, in particular goes, because I think right now she is the most dynamic character—the one who is in a state of change.

If I knew nothing of the books I would say Sansa as well, but the Sansa I know from the first book is functionally retarded, and so I have no hope of her ever doing anything except sucking more than she did before.  So instead I’m going to say TYWIN LANNISTER as my #2.  This guy has three extremely interesting (and possibly FUBAR) kids; he is obviously a politicker par excellence, and kind of a badass.  I want to see more of him.

Rachel-

Probably Jon. But I’m also excited to rejoin the Lannisters and Renly and all that. It’s hard to say, “I am most excited about this character” without telling you why and spoiling everything. I’ll spoil everything in the episode recaps under giant SPOILER WARNINGS. Promise.

Character you most want to see die in Season 2?

Elena-

JOFFREY.  Oh my god, Joffrey’s sanctimonious little tyrant ass would be such a sweet assassination.  I do not expect this to happen—mostly because Martin killed of Viserys in the first book, and you can only kill off the single most obnoxious character in the book once before it becomes a pattern—but I would LOVE to see it!

And I would be hella impressed, if he does die, if it’s in such a way that I feel sympathy for the little shit.

Rachel-

Everybody wants Joffrey to die, Elena! Jack Gleeson has done such an amazing job of providing us with a truly evil character to hate in a cast of characters neither good nor evil. It’s Joffrey who is our shining white knight of douchebaggery! HUZZAH! Long live the king, and stuff!

And boy is going to be even more douchey! Get ready!

This question relates to my ongoing attempts to create a Game of Thrones drinking game with my friends. We’ve pretty much settled on shots every time someone dies, but perhaps certain characters should get different drinks. Suggestions?

Elena-

If a major character dies drain your whole glass/bottle/can? If Joffrey dies drain two?

Is there a new character you are particularly excited about?

Elena-

Not exactly…I mean, for one thing I don’t KNOW any characters to come other than those mentioned off-screen last season, like Stannis Baratheon.  But I have seen from casting announcements and Rachel’s FB/Twitter that we’re getting some new females who at least some in the fandom love, so I’m excited about that. I don’t know who any of them are except Asha-Not-Yarra Greyjoy.  I’ve seen other names but couldn’t place them in a context.  Let’s just call it as “New Women of Westeros.”

Rachel-

Hmmm, I don’t know if it is a good idea to skip all of the featurettes. There are a whole lot of new characters coming at us in the new seasons. The story lines will be effectively doubled, and sometimes the connections between characters gets muddled. I think it was smart of HBO to release these little featurettes to help fans who have not read the books keep everyone straight. Not that I don’t have complete faith that all the new people will be effectively introduced to the audience. I just know that I watched the show with people who had not read the books last season and I often had to answer “who is that again?” questions.

Saying that:

Melisandra, Jaqen H’ghar, Asha-not-Yarra, Margaery Tyrell, Ygritte, Brienne, Stannis and Davos, Roose Bolton. So many crafty people coming at us you guys! SO MANY CRAFTY BITCHES! (I’m looking at you, Stannis.)

Any fandom you’re particularly excited for?

Elena-

Well, of the GOT Tumblrs my favorite is probably Arrested Westeros, simply because I love Arrested Development so much.  But in this case, the fandom I’m most excited about is my work family!  I have changed jobs since Season 1 was on air.  At my old job, no one watched the show, and if I brought it up they gave me the skank eye for being so weird and nerdy.  At my new job, EVERYBODY watches GOT!  Fuck yeah Monday morning dissections!  Also this will obviously force me to watch it every Sunday regardless of what else is going on in my life, else risk having the episode completely spoilered for me at work.  The good news is, none of the coworkers read the books, so I can have my fellow newbie/TV-only reactions and speculation with them, and then my evil laughter/cryptic remark-dropping dissections here with Rachel.  Win-win!

Also, if you did not catch the “here” part of that, Rachel and I will be discussing every episode here at Optionated!

Rachel-

I feel like the fandom is super healthy. It’s always nice when you’ve got new things to anticipate, but Game of Thrones fans have been keeping a hilarity-driven fandom going through the long waits between books for years now.  (For example, there is an 8-second video on YouTube that has been around for a long time that shows a wine glass and a golden hand knocking over the wine glass that pretty much puts me into hysterics.) The show has just given us pretty pictures to manipulate. Which I’m going to say, does have its advantages. I have even done my share of stupid mspaintery.

Behold:

I thought that Roose needed a little help. So I helped him.

But I think my favorite little fandom nugget is the following, which I am using because I actually know the person who made this but I only found this out recently. That’s how the Internet works sometimes:

BECAUSE ONIONS! LoL This never fails to make me laugh hysterically.

This person that I know is known as SwordintheDarkness on Tumblr. But be warned – she is super spoilery, and her GoT knowledge is incredible. She can remember the PAGES that shit happens on. So if you have read through A Dance with Dragons I recommend her Tumblr.

I also can’t promise that my own twitter (@DarthRachel) will be spoiler free. Sorry. There’s nothing I can do about that. In fact, as I am the spoilery side of these Episode discussions you should just beware me all together.

I’m the Shaggydog of Optionated.

No, I’m not. I’m not that cool.

Elena-

Well, if you’re Shaggydog then I’m Rickon. Always in the background, never in the know. I am the sweet summer child slowly losing my innocence under the shadow of war.

WAR IS COMING, Y’ALL!

Fuck yeah.

Watching The Midnight Premiere For The Hunger Games – A Review

Last night I braved the crowds (full of tweens and despondent parents), the imminent bad weather, and staying up past my self proclaimed bed time for a movie that I have been waiting to see for MONTHS. The Hunger Games finally premiered in theaters last night, and I will go ahead and say this: It was FANTASTIC!

But I am going to take this review in three parts: Pre-movie, the actual film, and the aftermath.

Pre-film:

I have never attended, or wished to attend, a midnight premiere of a film. That is, until The Hunger Games was in the picture. I LOVED the trilogy, I read it in like a three day period and have been anticipating the film since then. So I’ll admit it, I bought tickets to the midnight viewing the day they were available.

I, as a 23 year old adult, totally geeked out for this film. Thanks to our sponsored giveaway from SkinIt, I had a Hunger Games skin on my tablet. While waiting in line, I got tons of compliments for it. Many said they wished they had one like it. The SkinIt skins look seamless. I had it for a Samsung Galaxy Tab, and it fit PERFECTLY.

I also fit in, probably too well, with all the tweens and young kids there, with my District 10 backpack that was custominzed with my name and Capitol citizen number, and my Down With the Capitol t-shirt. That’s right, I wore those things… But it was great.

One of the best things about going to a midnight premiere is the camaraderie. All these people that love a story as much as you do, all experiencing something that you all know is going to be HUGE. I kind of enjoyed that. For once I wasn’t lame for being so excited because everyone else was as excited I was.

The Film:

OH MY. This film was just as good as I thought it was going to be. I had been anticipating this film so much that I was a little worried that I would be disappointed. But I was surprised how closely it actually followed the book.

Honestly, there were a few things they changed that caught my attention, but they changes didn’t detract from the film, or affect the overall story.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss surpassed everything I could have expected from her. She is one of the best actresses I have seen in a long time. Every scene was so full of emotion. During the reaping day scenes I really felt and saw her terror when she volunteered. She knew how to act like she knew she was heading to her death. So much acting chops in one actress. I cried during the goodbye scenes before they left for the Capitol. I was so impressed the way she ran through the forest, dodging fireballs, and was able to pull herself up into trees. She embodied everything that is the character of Katniss Everdeen. I honestly do not think that any other actress would have been able to pull it off like she did.

I have mentioned before my love for Josh Hutcherson as Peeta, and it was reinforced by watching the film. He truly embodied the character I had pictured when reading the novel. He easily slipped between love sick baker boy, to warrior with the careers, to weak almost dying tribute. Hutcherson is a very talented actor who made the perfect Peeta.

The whole movie was an emotional roller-coaster that kept you enticed from beginning to end. I felt the same way about the novel when I read that, and was excited to see that that feeling translated to the big screen.

Rue’s death. Seriously. Tears. My face was a waterfall. They overlayed Katniss’s breakdown from her death with scenes of the riot beginning in District 11. It was just. Beautiful. My very manly boyfriend attended the film with me, despite not reading the books, and even he shed a tear at Rue’s death. If you don’t cry or at least tear up at that scene then you are not human!

There is only one scene that was missing from the film that I really wish had been included. When Peeta is still healing in the cave, instead of being put to sleep by the medicine by Katniss, he merely fell asleep. I loved that scene in the novel, and was a little disappointed that it played out differently in the film.

Something I liked that they changed was the way Thresh kills Clove near the end. It was incredibly brutal in the novel, but they tamed it down in the movie. I don’t think I could have handled seeing it the other way.

Every scene with the cornucopia was perfect. Just how I imagined it reading it all those times.

Aftermath:

Gary Ross is a surperb director. He was able to translate the novel almost flawlessly to the big screen. Fans of novel will not be disappointed with this adaptation. Once you get into the film, you stop thinking about the things that are different from the novel and you just fall in love with the characters from the novel all over again.

A big part of why this adaptation is so great, is truly the actors. They were so incredibly talented that they became their characters totally.

As we were leaving, I didn’t hear anyone saying anything other than praises for the film. Even those who had obviously gotten drugged their with their friends, family, and significant others, left the film as a fan.

This is one of the best book to film adaptations I have ever encountered. I don’t think any fan of the book will be disappointed with the way the film played out. It also will make new fans out of those who haven’t read the book.

So, go see it! It is totally worth it.

The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook = Amazing! – Review

 

A few weeks ago I got a review copy of the Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook from Emily Ansara Baines. All the recipes had something to do with the book and the film. It was divided into several different sections that included:

  1. Breakfast of Champions
  2. Breaking Bread
  3. Keep the Camp Fires Low and Forage  – Soups, Stews, and Salads
  4. Humble Beginnings
  5. Sink or Swim Seafood
  6. Don’t Call Me Chicken – Poultry Dishes for the Brave
  7. Put Some Meat on Your Bones – Beef, Lamb, and Pork
  8. Wild Games for Wild Girls
  9. Just Desserts

Firstly, I LOVE THIS COOKBOOK. I am normally a TERRIBLE cook, but this book was so easy to understand and the recipes were so fun that it made me want to cook something every night.

So, honestly, I didn’t cook everything in the book. I didn’t cook out of section 5 (I hate fish and so does my other half). I also didn’t cook anything out of section 8 because it involved ingredients like squirrel and such. (For real).

But I did cook probably 10 or so recipes out of it. I picked a lot of bread, breakfast, and desert recipes as those are my favorite things to make.

One of the best things about the cookbook was that every recipe had a tie-in to the book before the ingredients. Such as where the recipe can be found in the actual novels. I loved it! It was a fantastic touch for fans as it gave them a glimpse into the story they already love.

I have included a few of the recipes I cooked myself below.

Orange Muffins with Sweet Preserves (Chapter 1)

Yes, yes, I know it says muffins, but at the time, I didn’t have a muffin pan, and I do enjoy a nice loaf. The pictures doesn’t show the sweet preserves on it though. I picked this particular recipe because it called for actual orange juice and that intrigued me.

This was I think the third recipe I made. I was still getting the knack of baking, something that I’ve never been, well, good at achieving.

This did turn out pretty delicious though. The orange taste was not overbearing (although I could have added a touch more). It was a perfect addition to my coffee in the morning.

Brown Sugar Shortbread (Chapter 9)

This was one of my failures/wins. It did not turn out the way it was supposed to in the cookbook, but was still INCREDIBLE tasting. It was supposed to be more of dense treat, but turned out too fluffy.

I think this was the fourth recipe I made.

I also should have cooked it longer, but I was worried about burning the top. But we ate all of it anyway, and really enjoyed it.

Propos Grilled Cheese Sandwhich (Chapter 4)

I LOVE GRILLED CHEESE. Seriously. It is one of my favorite quick meals to make. The recipe in this book was a little different than the one I normally make, so I figured I would try it.

The recipe called for sourdough bread and mayonnaise instead of butter. I actually really enjoyed it. I had to say you could definitely  taste the difference with mayo. It was slightly more bland, but felt much more healthier.

I enjoy sourdough bread as it is, but I really liked it with grilled cheese. I wish could use it everytime!

Capitol-Grade Dark Chocolate Cake (Chapter 9)

This recipe was supossed to be cake, but I made both cake and cupcakes out of it. These are the cupcakes and frankly, they were DIVINE! They tasted so good.

This was the most recent recipe I made (last weekend actually) and probably one of my favorites. I later frosted them with the Peeta’s Buttercream frosting recipe and that made them all the more delicious.

I plan to make a large cake with this recipe for my birthday this year.

I saved my two favorite (and the ones I am most proud of) for last.

Opportunistic Strawberry Bread (Chapter 9)

This is the very first recipe I made and just happens to be my first baking attempt in YEARS that didn’t burn AND cooked all the way through.

And it tasted good! I loved this recipe because it called for honey rather than sugar so it fit in really well with my diet. It was soft and the instructions were incredibly easy to understand.

I had some leftovers of this product and took it to my day job and EVERYONE loved it. They keep asking me when I will bring this in again.

Just so freaking good. Really.

Super Sweet Potato Rolls (Chapter 2)

This is my favorite thing I made out of the cookbook. It was also the most difficult thing I have ever made. But the payoff was incredible.

I had never thought to make dinner rolls out of sweet potatoes but I am so happy I tried this recipe.

They were just sweet enough that they went with dinner perfectly, but they were also pretty delicious on their own. These took me like four hours to make from the yeast and the cooling and the kneading and the baking. It took forever, but I was so incredibly proud that they came out deliciously.

I highly recommend trying a recipe like this.

This cookbook definitely awakened my desire to cook and bake. I had always been so terrible but this book was SO easy to understand, and because the subject matter was something I enjoyed already (love the HG!) I didn’t feel like cooking was a chore anymore.

Also, for those of you strained for time (like me) the good thing about the recipes is that it offers options off to the side of how to make your meal either healthier or quicker to make. That was a very handy tools as I am both someone who is always busy and on a diet.

I am definitely going to try some more of the recipes when I get the chance. And if you get the chance, I HIGHLY recommend buying this cookbook. So great for fans of The Hunger Games and anyone wanting to learn to cook new and fun recipes.

 Note: Review Item provided in partner with this review.