Tag Archives: Mina Kelly

Let the Twilight Games Begin!

It’s official, there is no deity out there looking out for our best interests. All viewings of The Hunger Games in theaters will be preceded by a trailer of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2.

This move was announced by Lionsgate to investors during a hoity-toity third quarter business call.

I’m sure this was to assure investors that yes, we’re still doing our absolute best in milking our target demographic. Or to infer that the success of one movie will transfer by osmosis and contribute to the success of their latest venture. The basic message, “You’re guaranteed to make money on this!” This was an expected marketing move as Lionsgate recently acquired Summit Entertainment, which previously distributed the “Twilight Saga” films.

Lionsgate Chief Executive Officer Jon Feltheimer said:

“We’re very excited about the opportunities created by our recent acquisition of Summit Entertainment. The February 11 home entertainment release of ‘Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn 1,’ the March 23 theatrical release of ‘Hunger Games’ and the November 16 theatrical release of ‘Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn 2’ lead a strong combined slate that we believe will enable us to deliver increased consistency, profitability and value to our shareholders.”

As with all corporate goons, I picture someone wearing a Bela Lugosi vampire type costume while talking about the value of money. Possibly with a fangy accent.

The Hunger Games is another fantasy novel aimed at young female teens, but while Twilight is a fantasy novel where men act the way woman want them to, the Hunger Games is more like the Japanese cult classic film, Battle Royal; where the worst school children are shipped off to an island with exploding collars and issued random weapons to kill one another. So both films; Twilight and the Hunger Games; feature female leads in weird love triangles… So I heard. I swear I haven’t read the books.

As there are twice as much women in the world as men; that live longer by feeding off of us; these contemporary, “Chick flicks” do their best to cash in on the myth that love is real. I won’t be surprised if these movies are remastered in the future using the George Lucas method; slowly re-releasing with never seen before cut footage in special box sets.

Why would they do this? For this I examined what Mina Kelly of Boomtron had to say about Twilight products,

“Fans will likely look past all the blood and gore focusing more on the love story of Bella and Edward. Rewinding and Fast-forwarding to their favourite bits and pieces of the movie which DVD’s and Blu-Rays lend very well to. The idea of the romantic vampire and immortal love is indeed held in very high esteem by the young adult. While everyone likes a good love story, I remember when vampires were brutal, undead killing machines, not sparkling pretty boys.”

When videos used to be rented on VHS, I recall getting movies that would play at weird speeds at certain scenes.  As if someone had rewound it to that spot and paused a countless number of times for some unwholesome reason.

Oh yes, fans will see it in the theater and buy it as well, many, many times over to come. What a gullible fan base. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Star Wars remastered lego clone animation on Blu-Ray to watch.