AMC Networks has acquired all US rights to filmmaker Walter Salles’ On the Road.The project, based on the iconic counterculture novel by Jack Kerouac, is finally preparing to be released thanks to AMC who will release the film through its distribution labels IFC Films and Sundance Selects.
The film stars Garrett Hedlund, Sam Riley, Kristen Stewart and Kirsten Dunst. Amy Adams, Tom Sturridge, Danny Morgan, Alice Braga, Elisabeth Moss and Viggo Mortensen also appear.
The screenplay was written by Jose Rivera (Academy Award nominee for The Motorcycle Diaries).
The film’s world premiere will be at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, followed by a major theatrical release in late fall.
AMC will attempt to make the premiere a big event.
This is a major step forward for us, and we plan to work across AMC Networks in putting all our resources together to make this theatrical release into a significant cultural event,” Jonathan Sehring, president of Sundance Selects/IFC Films said. “We will show the same passion in releasing this film as the team took behind producing it.
The novel’s official plot synopsis follows:
On The Road, the most famous of Jack Kerouac’s works, is not only the soul of the Beat movement and literature, but one of the most important novels of the century. Like nearly all of Kerouac’s writing, On The Road is thinly fictionalized autobiography, filled with a cast made of Kerouac’s real life friends, lovers, and fellow travelers. Narrated by Sal Paradise, one of Kerouac’s alter-egos, On the Road is a cross-country bohemian odyssey that not only influenced writing in the years since its 1957 publication but penetrated into the deepest levels of American thought and culture.
The full cast list includes:
Sam Riley as Sal Paradise
Garrett Hedlund as Dean Moriarty
Kristen Stewart as Marylou
Kirsten Dunst as Camille
Viggo Mortensen as Old Bull Lee
Amy Adams as Jane
Tom Sturridge as Carlo Marx
Steve Buscemi
Elisabeth Mossas Galatea Dunkel
Matthew Deano as Little Ray
Alice Braga as Terry
Danny Morgan as Ed Dunkel
Terrence Howard as Walter
Patrick Costello as Chad King
Joey Klein as Tom Saybrook
Alison Louder as Dorie
Clara Furey as Inez
Adam LeBlanc as Remi Boncoeur
Jake La Botz as the Okie Hitchhiker
Rocky Marquette as Alfred
Imogen Haworth
Marie-Ginette Guay as Gabrielle Levesque (Aunt of Sal Paradise)
Edward Abbey’s 1975 environmentalist novel The Monkey Wrench Gang is headed for the silver screen. Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, who worked on the 2010 Sundance Film Festival documentary Catfish and Paranormal Activity 3, will write and direct the adaptation.
Edward R. Pressman (American Psycho) and Grammy-winning album cover artist Gary Burden are producing.
The producers have been discussing ideas for the film for about 15 years, but now feel they have the right filmmakers to move ahead in the project, according to Deadline.com.
The novel is about a group of four men who are protesting industrial development in the 1970s American West. Their method of protest consists of attempts to damage industrial equipment without ever harming humans, animals, plants or rocks. The plan is followed, with the exception of one member, a Vietnam veteran named Hayduke, who wants to blow things up.
We’re excited and honored to turn this book into a movie,” Joost and Schulman said in a release on Deadline.com. “People often ask us why we work together, and as Edward Abbey used to say, ‘One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork.’”
Pressman said he feels the duo will do a good job with the comedic nature of the book, according to the same release.
Henry and Ariel’s approach to the film adaptation will connect to the humor and cultural zeitgeist of today in the same way Abbey’s book does,” Pressman said. “I’m delighted to collaborate with them on this irreverent comedy.”
See the official plot synopsis below:
Ed Abbey called The Monkey Wrench Gang, his 1975 novel, a “comic extravaganza.” Some readers have remarked that the book is more a comic book than a real novel, and it’s true that reading this incendiary call to protect the American wilderness requires more than a little of the old willing suspension of disbelief. The story centers on Vietnam veteran George Washington Hayduke III, who returns to the desert to find his beloved canyons and rivers threatened by industrial development. On a rafting trip down the Colorado River, Hayduke joins forces with feminist saboteur Bonnie Abbzug, wilderness guide Seldom Seen Smith, and billboard torcher Doc Sarvis, M.D., and together they wander off to wage war on the big yellow machines, on dam builders and road builders and strip miners. As they do, his characters voice Abbey’s concerns about wilderness preservation (“Hell of a place to lose a cow,” Smith thinks to himself while roaming through the canyonlands of southern Utah. “Hell of a place to lose your heart. Hell of a place… to lose. Period”). Moving from one improbable situation to the next, packing more adventure into the space of a few weeks than most real people do in a lifetime, the motley gang puts fear into the hearts of their enemies, laughing all the while. It’s comic, yes, and required reading for anyone who has come to love the desert.”
There is no word yet on when this adaptation is predicted to be released.
It was announced quite a bit ago that Angelina Jolie will star as the titular character in Maleficent, a new take on the classic fairy tale Sleeping Beauty. And now several other cast members have finally been added to the project.
Imelda Staunton, from the Harry Potter series, and Miranda Richardson (Sleepy Hollow) have also joined the cast. According to the blog from Hollywood Reporter, Staunton and Lesley Manville will be playing the characters of Knotgrass and Flittle, respectively. The characters are “two of the three pixies that end up taking care of Aurora.”
The new project comes from Director Robert Stromberg, most known for his work on Pan’s Labyrinth.
According to Heat Vision, Elle Fanning, star of Super 8, has officially been added to the cast as the Princess. As for Queen Ulla, Richardson will be “a Fairy Queen who is Maleficent’s aunt with a dislike of her niece.”
Kenneth Cranham (Made in Dagenham) and Sam Riley (Brighton Rock) have also joined the production, which is set to begin filming in June.
Cranham will be playing the role of the human king who plots to conquer the fairy kingdom. Riley will portray Diaval, a character described as a raven who changes into human form and is Maleficent’s right hand.”
Sharlto Copely has also been announced to be going the cast in the lead role of Stefan, “the half-human, half-fairy bastard son of the human king.”
Maleficent tells the story from the point of view of the witch who cursed Aurora to a permanent sleep on her 16th birthday. The character of Maleficent is often viewed as the most powerful and sinister of the Disney Villains, frequently acting as their leader in many genre crossovers, and her scenes in the climax of the film are among the darkest and most intense produced by Disney. In Ultimate Disney’s top 30 Disney Villains countdown, Maleficent ranked #1.She also plays a major role in the Kingdom Hearts series, as a recurring villain.
Probably no surprise to anyone, Marvel’s The Avengers took the top spot in the U.S. box office ratings this weekend, earning roughly $200,300,000 in 4,300 U.S. theaters. The film, directed by Joss Whedon, broke the record for highest grossing debut of all time, previously held by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 2, according to a report by Walt Disney Pictures.
The Avengers averaged $46,063 per theater in North America.
The film has received positive reviews from fans and critics alike, scoring 93 percent from Rotten Tomatoes and 96 percent from fans on the movie rating site.
Christopher Orr reviewed the film for The Atlantic.
But ultimately it all comes back to Whedon: his clear vision for each character and how they might be profitably intermingled; his unexpected knack for action choreography; his funny, tender, immaculately constructed script (from a story he co-wrote with Zak Penn). I don’t think I’m giving anything away by revealing that the picture ends with Loki locked up for years. If Marvel has a lick of sense, they’ll do the same with Whedon.”
Think Like a Man was knocked out of the top spot by The Avengers and is now at number two, in its third week since release. It earned $8,000,000 over the weekend and $73,029,000 since its release. Think Like a Man cost $12 million to make.
When looking at figures provided by ComingSoon, it seems that Marvel’s The Avengers have not only been a definite commercial success but the film has broken several other records as well.
The global box office for The Avengers has already surpassed the global box office totals of Captain America: The First Avenger ($364 million), Thor ($449 million), Iron Man ($585 million) and Iron Man 2 ($624 million). The film had the biggest opening weekend of all time in Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Ecuador, Central America, Peru, Bolivia, Hong Kong, Malaysia, New Zealand, Philippines. In Russia, the film earned $17.9 million. The movie has become the fastest to reach the $200 million mark domestically in three days. It earned $80.5 million on Friday, which is the second-highest single day take of all time and Saturday’s take of $69.7 million is the highest Saturday of all time.”
Before The Avengers was released, The Hunger Games was the biggest box office moneymaker, earning $155 million domestically in its first weekend. The Hunger Games is now at spot number three, making $5.7 million during the weekend. It has made $380.7 million in seven weeks domestically and cost $78 million to make.
Paramount recently announced it is working on a seven-figure deal to acquire the film rights to Jonathan Tropper’s novel, “One Last Thing Before I Go.” It has also been reported that J.J. Abrams, famous for his hit television show “Lost,” will be producing, and Tropper will be writing the script.
Paramount, making a leap forward, has optioned the book that hasn’t even been released yet. The book will be published in August by Dutton Publishing. According to Deadline, multiple studios were in competition for the rights to adapt the novel.
“One Last Thing Before I Go” is the story of a man in a mid-life crisis. His ex is about to remarry, his Princeton-bound teenage daughter is pregnant and he could die at any moment without an operation he refuses to undergo.
Tropper has written five other novels, including “This is Where I Leave You,” “The Book of Joe,” “Plan B,” “How to Talk to a Widower” and “Everything Changes.”
“This is Where I leave You” is also being adapted for film by Warner Brothers, and will be directed by Adam Shankman, known for his previous adaptation of A Walk to Remember.
Read the official synopsis below:
Silver has begun to accept that life isn’t going to turn out as he expected. His ex-wife is about to marry a terrific guy Silver can’t quite bring himself to hate. And his Princeton-bound teenage daughter Casey has just confided in him that she’s pregnant—because he’s the one she cares least about letting down. With the wedding looming and Casey in crisis, this broken family struggles, bonds, and comes together only to risk damaging each other even more. Lives begin anew, change radically, or in Silver’s case—as he discovers that he could die at any moment without an operation he refuses to have—may be about to end in an instant.
One Last Thing Before I Go demonstrates yet again Tropper’s deft touch with the darkest of materials and his ability to make readers laugh out loud in one paragraph and move them to tears in the next.”
There is no word yet on who will be starring in the film, or a projected release date for the project. We do know they are aiming for sometime in the year 2014.
Fans of Tropper’s work or those who want to stay updated on his novels and film adaptation can visit his official webpage.
Now that Catching Fire finally has a director confirmed, it seems the project is moving forward. Lionsgate is now bringing in screenwriter Michael Arndt to rewrite the initial draft for the film adaptation.
The first draft came from Simon Beaufoy, and as he is already an Oscar-winning screenwriter, the re-write should be relatively painless.
The new screenwriter, Arndt has also done well making a name for himself. He previously wrote the screenplay for Little Miss Sunshine, which earned him an Academy Award. He also penned the screenplay for Toy Story 3, contributed to the writing for Rock of Ages, and also did a refurbishing of Disney’s Snow White-inspired martial arts epic, Order of Seven – and is handling the Mouse House’s impending Phineas and Ferb movie.
Author of the series, Suzanne Collins has already confirmed that she has had a hand in adapting her novel into the screenplay for the film. After writing the first draft of the script, Beaufoy confirmed that he handed the script over to Collins for her to review.
Things always do have to change otherwise there’s always something very flat about very faithful adaptations. But on the other hand, there’s an extremely loyal fan base and readership and you just have to be careful of how many liberties you do take. So fortunately Suzanne is here to help me… she’ll tell me, ‘You can’t do that. You must do this.’ Because there are some things that are sacrosanct to her readers and she knows them very well and she’ll let me know.”
It isn’t clear as of yet, whether or not Collins will play such a direct writing role with Catching Fire as she did with The Hunger Games. However, it is good news to fans that she has at least helped create the script for the film.
With all the actors returning, and Collins helping with the script, it appears the second film of the series is finally materializing.
Catching Fire remains scheduled to begin a theatrical release in the U.S. on November 22nd, 2013.
Disney recently announced that they have bought the movie rights to adapt Neil Gaiman’s 2008 children’s novel The Graveyard Book. After several years of attempt by different studios to adapt the novel it seems that it is finally moving forward with Disney. As the fourth studio to purchase the rights to the film, they wasted no time handing the project over to producer Gil Netter, who just finished producing another Yann Martel’s Life of Pi, another book-to-film adaptation.
This will be Gaiman’s third film, preceded by 2009’s Coraline and 2007’s Stardust, both of which received positive reviews. Gaiman also has a television series in the works with HBO based on his novel American Gods.
His two movie adaptations have both received relative success in the box office as well. Coraline has an IMDb rating of 7.7 out of 10 and Stardust received a 7.8.
The next adaptation for Gaiman, The Graveyard Book, tells the story of a young boy who lost his parents and is raised instead by the ghosts of graveyard inhabitants.
The official plot synopsis is below:
Bod is an unusual boy who inhabits an unusual place-he’s the only living resident of a graveyard. Raised from infancy by the ghosts, werewolves, and other cemetery denizens, Bod has learned the antiquated customs of his guardians’ time as well as their timely ghostly teachings-like the ability to Fade. Can a boy raised by ghosts face the wonders and terrors of the worlds of both the living and the dead? And then there are things like ghouls that aren’t really one thing or the other. This chilling tale is Neil Gaiman’s first full-length novel for middle-grade readers since the internationally bestselling and universally acclaimed Coraline. Like Coraline, this book is sure to enchant and surprise young readers as well as Neil Gaiman’s legion of adult fans.”
In the novel, each of the eight chapters is a short story, telling the story 2 years apart allowing the audience to see the protagonist growing up.
The book, already a commercial success, won the 2008 Newberry Medal for distinguished contributions to children’s literature. It also won the 2009 Hugo Award for Best Novel, Locus Award for Best Young Adult Book, and the 2010 Carnegie Medal.
Gaiman based his tale on a previous short story called The Witch’s Headstone, according to TGDaily.com.
It is unknown whether the movie will be live-action or animated, and no other production details have been announced.
Some classic books provide fodder for directors for decades to come. They get remade every decade or so by new directors for a new audience. Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland has inspired numerous film adaptations. Ronald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has also been adapted multiple times. The latest addition to the list is L. Frank Baum’s Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz.
Most recently adapted for television in the form of SyFy’s “Tin Man”, starring Zooey Deschanel and Alan Cumming, the story is now providing the foundation for two new projects.
E!, a network known mostly for reality shows such as Keeping Up With the Kardashians, is now developing several scripted drama series. Among the new shows is “Dorothy”, a new take on Baum’s classic story.
Here is E!’s description:
Inspired by the book Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, a girl from Kansas City falls for a man and moves with him to the Emerald City to work at his Emerald Hotel.”
The show will be written by Natalie Krinsky (Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy), so viewers can expect hearty servings of weekly drama.
In other Oz-related news, Summertime Entertainment is developing its own adaptation—a 3D CG animated film.
The role of Dorothy will be voiced by Lea Michele, most known for her role on “Glee.” Tony Award-winning actress Bernadette Peters will lend her voice to the character of Glinda the Good Witch.
To have Bernadette Peters as Glinda is such a treat,” said Will Finn, one of the film’s directors in a report from Summertime Entertainment. “She epitomizes the character who is known by Oz fans worldwide to have a very caring and generous heart.”
Peters agreed with this sentiment.
“Glinda and I have the same heart and soul,” she said. “Her hair has a mind of its own like mine!”
According to ComingSoon, Peters and Michele will perform a duet on the film’s soundtrack.
Also starring are Martin Short, Jim Belushi , Dan Aykroyd, Kelsey Grammer, Megan Hilty, Hugh Dancy, Oliver Platt and Patrick Stewart. The film will be directed by Dan St. Pierre.
Most everyone knows the stories of literature’s classic fairy tale princesses by now— Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella… etc. Children have been reading these stories and watching their respective Disney adaptations for decades. Now first-time author Jeff Healy is telling these classic stories from a different perspective.
Now available, The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom tells the story of the four princes from these familiar fairy tales.
“In the tome, the princes’ due is glossed over by various minstrels, but the four young men—cast out of their respective castles—get a shot at redemption and glory when they uncover a plot that could destroy the kingdoms,” according to Hollywood Reporter.
The 432 page novel was released by Walden Pond Press/HarperCollins Children’s Books. Before penning the novel, Healy was a children’s entertainment reviewer, and before that a haunted house zombie actor. If these former occupations are any indication of Healy’s writing style, Save Your Kingdom should be an interesting read.
Those interested in checking out the book may want to do so quickly, as there will soon be an animated film version as well. It was also announced that Fox Animation has picked up the movie rights to Saving Your Kingdom. The project will be produced by Chernin Entertainment—the same company that produced Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
See the book’s official plot synopsis below:
Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You’ve never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change. Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, Liam, Frederic, Duncan, and Gustav stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it’s up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be. Debut author Christopher Healy takes us on a journey with four imperfect princes and their four improbable princesses, all of whom are trying to become perfect heroes—a fast-paced, funny, and fresh introduction to a world where everything, even our classic fairy tales, is not at all what it seems.”
There is no word yet on when the adaptation will be released or who is expected to provided the voices for the characters.
Elena: Renly died! I CALLED IT! Four episode arc. I WIN!
Rachel: Yes, I barely contained myself when you predicted Renly would last four episodes. Good job! And now that I’ve successfully won my campaign of convincing you magic exists in this world, I expect you to predict lots more!
I’m not sure I think opening with Renly’s death was the best idea? I don’t know. I agree it was a splendid cliffhanger for episode 4, but now that is has lost its momentum, seeing Shadowbaby come in and kill Renly was kind of a “duh” moment. Maybe I’m being harsh because I already know what is going to happen. I did enjoy Brienne’s emotion. I argued with another fan who said that Brienne being so emotional when she hadn’t had any lines up until then was hard to believe, but, frankly, Brienne’s story is not about her being devoted to Renly. Her story begins with Renly’s death.
As for this “controversy” that Loras wasn’t given ENOUGH emotion in his mourning scene…I’m giving you the stank eye, GoT fandom. IT’S HAPPENING. Right now. …… can you feel it? Loras was totally devoid of emotion in that scene with Margaery and Littlefinger! He was empty! The love of his life is dead on a table in front of him, and he is not dealing, you guys. I thought it was a much more powerful choice than to have him beating his chest and yelling, especially on the heels of the scene with Brienne. This way it doesn’t feel like a rehash. Neither steals the glory from the other.
But speaking of that scene…gosh, I heart Margaery! I’m so glad they’ve expanded her for this show, and we get to see her more. Littlefinger is deftly maneuvering as always, while Margaery takes advantage of the only avenue to power left on the table at the moment. It’s a great scene completely filled with all those key events in the future that book readers love. BAM. This is when the show is good. This is when I can walk proudly and say I am a fan of the show as well as the books. More of this, HBO. MORE!
Rachel: Is this what you thought Shadowbaby would amount to? Are you disappointed you didn’t get a zombie army?
Elena: I am not totally surprised that we didn’t end up with a demon army, if only because we’re maybe halfway through book 2 of 7 at this point. So a demon army seems a bit…unlikely at this point in the narrative. I feel like that will happen at the end, that the series comes down to everyone waking up from their petty power play when seven armies of supernatural shit converge. You’ve got White Walkers versus Shadowbaby-demon army and just when the world’s about to get overrun, Dany and her dragons swoop in, burn them all, save Sansa, and claim the Iron Throne. Can’t wait. But that’s the end of the series, not book 2 stuff.
That being said, it was kind of anticlimactic that all Shadowbaby did was kill Renly. I mean, I guess that’s all Shadowbaby needed to do, but the high point of that sequence was definitely Davos’ face during the birth and not the actual outcome of the black magic.
Rachel: Brienne is working for Cat now, this can only go well.
Elena: That pairing makes a really odd sense (well, wouldn’t have seen it coming but now that it’s done it makes total sense kind of odd sense) to me. I am not Cat’s biggest fan, but I actually got chills when she gave her vow back to Brienne. Say what you want about CTS, she has learned the dignity and honor of the north pretty well by this point. And that is a great place for Brienne, because Brienne actually is an honorable knight. She has to out-knight the male knights to prove she’s qualified, so while they can run around putting themselves on Arya’s Jaqen H’ghar death list (I’m looking at you, Mountain), she has to play by the formal rules of chivalry and oath and loyalty and honor.
I also think, though, that she and Cat have to be very careful not to bring out the worst in each other when it comes to dealing with people who don’t have something to prove regarding honor and whatnot. I guess I’m suggesting here that Cat might be in some small way driven by a motivation to prove she IS a true northerner and a proper Lady Stark, which is more important now than ever since Robb isn’t just Lord of Winterfell but King in the North and she is one of his designated proxies. Anyway, though, one of the hardest things for people who are really good at living by a set code to do is not judge the people who can’t/don’t, or who live by a code they cannot comprehend. As Rachel suggests, this pairing may go poorly for everyone they come into contact with….
Rachel: What do you think about Bran’s expanding “powers”? And Rickon? Rickon is my favorite character btw. From now on and forever. Rickon for King!!!!
Elena: Rickon? Who’s Rickon? Do you mean BAM-BAM? I know we talked about fake names for characters and how, no, but…that’s what he was doing at the table! Just banging away like a fucking heathen. Bam-bam Stark, so say I, so mote it be. Also because…does Rickon even know his own name at this point? I think Cat might be a little bit late in getting back to him. Ser Rodrick and Maester Luwen obviously don’t have a mother’s touch with taming a half-feral possibly autistic child. Clearly Cat had all the magic there (can you hear my sarcasm—okay, fine, that was so season 1 and now we’ve all forgotten about how she couldn’t do anything for any of her other children when Bran was maybe dying…oh, wait…).
Speaking of Bran, yes, I’m so glad they are getting more into his dreams. And I hope Theon’s visit to Winterfell will be instructive for Bran when it comes to dream interpretation. Because what else was the Theta Chi president suggesting with his cryptic “but that would mean—” remark except a pantyraid on Winterfell?
Good thing Bam-bam doesn’t even know what underwear are. I wish Theon all the luck getting back on his pirate ship once his crew realizes there was nothing at Winterfell to plunder except one wildling female prisoner and the links in Maester Luwen’s chain.
Rachel: Also, Asha is the greatest troll in all of Westeros.
Elena: Speaking of people with one line in the is episode…Quaithe? Is her entire purpose to pop up randomly spouting vague shit I can’t remember?
Rachel: Ding ding ding ding ding! Oh, Quaithe. Here is the thing about her and the trope she represents – the prophet trope. HOW DO THEY REMEMBER? Not the prophets, because they’re obsessed, and I totally get them remembering it; no, how do the main characters remember? Some whack-a-doo pops up spouting cryptic messages that are LONG and complicated and you’re supposed to be able to remember each of the parts and in which order? No. Sorry, no.
Lots of fans are also pretty mad about Xaro. I don’t see the point in changing him from gay to straight. One of the main reasons Dany refuses Xaro, besides being canny on her own sometimes without Jorah’s council, the fact that Xaro wants one of Dany’s dragons in exchange for the ships (and the marriage, but whatever), is that Dany doesn’t want to marry a gay guy no matter how he can help her regain her throne. This girl has NEEDS, and this girl will not settle for anything less than some more fresh Drogoey meat. (I say this with the knowledge that Dany and her handmaids often partake in um…stress relieving behavior. Thus proving my point that Dany has NEEDS.) Which is why I get so EMBARASSED for Jorah and his little girl crush. It’s at once kind of romantic and also nauseating. Embarrassing to watch but also juicy? I should stop.
But yes, Quaithe. Did you like her mask? I thought her mask looks like if Spiderman needed a mask but all he had were those little balsa wood chips you make fake shingles for doll houses out of….But then again Pyat Pree looks like a Sith Senator, so I guess Qarth is just a weird city in a land far away, made of dreams and bits of charred meat.
Elena: Qarth is obviously a con. Also I am totally going to be Quaithe for Halloween and one of my Ren Faire days this fall. Gotta start memorizing some good prophecies, though. Cause, yo, Rachel’s right, how am I supposed to remember all that shit?
Wait, what are we talking about?
Rachel: Oh right, Tyrion!
Elena: I wasn’t talking about Tyrion.
Rachel: Yes, Tyrion and Bronn and what you have so delightfully dubbed as “their trip to the set of Rome”. Which is the only excuse for that teeny tiny caravan that Tyrion is hanging out in when he utterly pwns Lancel (More wine, sir?). And then he’s strolling the grossest bits of the city sans guards with just Bronn by his side?
I just don’t think that is plausible. He’d be on a HORSE, or something. The Lannisters are not well-liked at this point, not by the peasant class anyways. People are calling him “demon monkey” in broad daylight! Guy needs to be on a horse for his own safety. This is when the show is strange. Not pull your hair out bad or anything, just strange. Was it extras cost double day when they were filming?
Meanwhile Roy Dotrice cameoing as the pyromancer was a stroke of genius. For anyone who doesn’t know, Dotrice narrates the audiobooks though he is also a screen actor. He was just SO excited to be melting flesh like tallow. Isn’t it nice? That George envisions a world where people find meaningful work no matter their destructive impulses? Very enlightened.
Rachel: Cersei – petty or actually retarded?
Elena: It depends on whether she has really left the defenses of the city to Joffrey (or herself, for that matter), or if she just told that to Tyrion to be a bitch. I don’t think either of them have the tactical chops to really be the military leader in a time of unrest, you know?
The wildfire solution really does have Cersei’s stamp on in, though, doesn’t it? Roach on your plate? Burn the table! Better yet, burn the whole dining room! Daddy will buy me a new one!
My concern is this. You have 7000 barrels plus whatever pyromancer can make in the meantime if he can resist the pissing on it experiment. How far does that really go against 100,000 men and ships? Maybe you have enough to burn Stannis’s army to ash. Fine. What happens when Robb Stark’s army gets there? What about the king beyond the wall (cause you know even with Jon Snow Who Knows Where to Put It’s promotion that avalanche ain’t gonna be stopped from rolling down the mountain)? Seven thousand barrels since the time of mad king Aerys isn’t really all that much of a safeguard if it’s your only defense.
Elena: Anyway. Going back to beyond the beyond, what the big deal about this Halfhand guy who shows up at the mountain camp and apparently needs no introduction?
Rachel: Qhorin Halfhand! He’s the great ranger of the Night’s Watch is all! Famous South of the wall, well, okay, famous as far South as Winterfell. The way Southerner’s might feel about Barristan Selmy is how Northerner’s feel about the Halfhand. He’s the batman of winter. Jon would obviously jump at the chance to go on a mission with the guy.
Just go with it. He’s a bad ass. He’s only got half a hand.
It was definitely sweet of Sam to automatically take up Jon’s duties because he wants to eliminate all of Jon’s barriers to do what he has always wanted to do. I hate to see Sam and Jon split up for any length of time, but as long as Jon has Ghost, he’ll be fine. Right? I mean, I didn’t see Ghost. I heard he was there. I just imagine they CGI some floaty red eyes in the snow and call it a day.
Elena: Sam is the bestest friend evah! Also. Why am I so strangely attracted to Jaqen H’ghar?
Rachel: If you weren’t I would expect there to be something wrong with you. There’s just something about a weird dude with bad hair who talks about himself in the third person, ya know? Actually … I have no idea. He has this effect in the book as well, so we can’t blame it on the admittedly beauteous casting. I think it’s because guy gets shit DONE. That is attractive in a book full of devious twisty plots. With Jaqen it is simple. The man has a debt. The man pays his debt. The girl and the man are even.
HAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA. (This is me laughing and pointing and hyperventilating along with all the other theory hounds out there. We are legion.)
Anways, Harrenhal. Place keeps getting better! Actually it does. Jaqen, Shirtless Gendry, and now Arya is on Team More Water, Sir? That scene between Arya and Tywin is pretty amazing. Not afraid dude. NOT AFRAID. Hell yes, Arya. Kick Ass. Take ALL THE NAMES. Remember them. Say them at night. Never forget.
