Summit Entertainment, the force behind the Twilight Saga films isn’t done yet with the Romance-Horror genre. Though television, film and especially novels have seen a drastic increase in the last two years, there’s apparently still a lot left to milk, and milk it they will! Next year get ready for Hollywood’s finishing move with the adaptation of Isaac Marion’s novel, Warm Bodies.
The film will star a pretty boy, Nicholas Hoult, with Teresa Palmer, Rob Corddry, Dave Franco, Analeigh Tipton and John Malkovich.
I’m going to break it to you right now. Warm Bodies in a nutshell is a Zombie-Romance story.
The first existing demographic that producers hope to feed upon are the ones that liked Twilight. That’s an easy sell. The movie which was originally slated for August 10th, 2012 release has since been moved to February 10th, 2013. This means that the the film is no longer going to ride off the wake that World War Z will leave behind. As the film is expected to debut February 2013, that should give Twilight fans just enough time to go into withdrawal.
The second demographic are for the nerds that enjoy the zombie genre. The only problem is that not all zombie fans are necessarily Twilight fans and vice versa. So why would some zombie fans that have a hate on for Twilight, subject themselves to such a movie?
In one word: Addiction. We’re gluttons for punishment. We’re the ones that see a bloody car accident and know we shouldn’t look but we do anyways. Yes, we’re a subculture that will watch almost any type of zombie related film. I’ve watched zombie stripper films to Italian zombie films I didn’t understand. We’ll sit through it and make comments like, “My survival plan is better.” “Get rid of him, they’re a threat to your survival!” and “Why is that zombie proficiently using a gun?! We’re dead! Game over man! Game over!” If we were to have an Olympic Sport, it would be Speed Bitching. It could be about the movie, plot, or how we would have done it better.
I myself don’t want to see this film, knowing full well that I would help perpetuate a wheel of romantic nonsense bridged by faux-horror. Yet, I need to know how bad it’s going to be!
Here is the official description of Warm Bodies from Isaac Marion’s website:
“R is a young man with an existential crisis–he is a zombie. He shuffles through an America destroyed by war, social collapse, and the mindless hunger of his undead comrades, but he craves something more than blood and brains. He can speak just a few grunted syllables, but his inner life is deep, full of wonder and longing. He has no memories, noidentity, and no pulse, but he has dreams.
After experiencing a teenage boy’s memories while consuming his brain, R makes an unexpected choice that begins a tense, awkward, and strangely sweet relationship with the victim’s human girlfriend. Julie is a blast of color in the otherwise dreary and gray landscape that surrounds R. His decision to protect her will transform not only R, but his fellow Dead, and perhaps their whole lifeless world.
Scary, funny, and surprisingly poignant, Warm Bodies is about being alive, being dead, and the blurry line in between.”
R, the Prettiest , well done up zombie.
I read this out loud and near the end, felt bile rising in my chest. My friend whom I was reading this to at the time was outraged. She was nearly frothing at the mouth shouting things like, “Twilight is to blame!” It was like I got hit by a drunk driver, so many thoughts collided in my mind that I can’t even list them all. I was pissed with the author. It’s like Marion had said to himself, “I’ve decided to name my version of Juliette, Julie. Now all I need is a name for the Romeo zombie. Oh well, I’ll just type R for now and fix it later when I come up with a good R sounding name.” I was upset at Summit for unleashing this upon the world. Why do this when there is so many better written works of fantasy that appeal to nerds and romantics. What about Patrick Rothfuss’ “Name of the Wind”?! Huh? HUH!?!
(Calms himself down)
Though it nearly made my physically ill, in the darkest recesses of my mind, a ghost of a thought whispered to me. It said that I should acquire the novel and read it. Even though I’ve already passed judgment on it, I should read it to truly ensure the complete destruction of my psyche. Only then could I stand to be reborn, to transcend to the next level.
Vampires that sparkle. Pretty zombie boys. These were the portents of the end of days.
This must be what going mad feels like.