Category Archives: Optioned Books

Brett Ratner’s Hercules is the Peoples Champion?

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Turns out that Dwayne Johnson, The Peoples Champion, the Rock is in talks with MGM about starring in Hercules. The film which is to be directed by Brett Ratner; who directed the comedians version of the Expendables. I believe it was called Tower Heist.

The film is based on the Hercules comic book by Radical Publishing. They have two series which are called, “Hercules: The Thracian Wars” and “Hercules: The Knives of Kush.” The last one just makes me think there are blades made of marijuana. Both series are written by Steve More with artist Cris Bolsin.

The Thracian Wars is described as follows:

“Fourteen-hundred years ago, a tormented soul walked the Earth that was neither man nor god. Hercules, powerful son of the god king Zeus, received nothing but suffering his entire life. After twelve arduous labors and the loss of his family, this dark, world-weary soul turned his back on the gods, finding his only solace in bloody battle. Over the years he warmed to the company of six similar souls, their only bond being their love of fighting and the presence of death. These men and woman never question where, why, or whom they go to fight; only how much they will be paid. Knowing this, the King of Thrace has hired these mercenaries to train his men to become the greatest army of all time. Hercules begins to question King Cotys’ motives when he takes his army out to battle and sees them practice on innocent men, women, and children of their neighbors. Deep in his soul something stirs, but is it enough to stop a mad king and his army of the damned from marching across Greece – or even Olympus itself?!”

So if I’m to understand this correctly, Hercules roamed the earth in seventh century as an emo, laying the smack down for Kings while the Thracians were being wiped out by Goths. It’s okay, I’ll suspend my belief on this because I too have watched Marvel’s Thor film adaptation. I can’t believe I paid to see that either though.

This might be MGM’s bid to find their own Conan movie for reinvention, but I’m skeptical about Ratner more than I am about The Rock; sure it puts the movie at risk for being associated with the Scorpion King, but “you keep what you kill” and man did that movie die horribly.

So what’s wrong with Ratner? He’s done a great job directing Red Dragon and an X-Men movie, but he’s also been the force behind the Rush Hour movies. While the Radical Comics Hercules title does look serious, it’s still a comic. The comedic moments makes me wonder if if any Rush Hour will leak a bit into the film.  Maybe it’ll just have to take a really good script to really tell.

Hey, is it my imagination or does Hercules on these covers look a little like a time lost Judge Dredd?

The Demonologist: Which Came First? The Movie or the Book?

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In a bold move, Hollywood is going to make movies based on the potential popularity of unreleased books. The film production companies are no longer content with just adapting movies on popular books, they’re going to go the extra step.

Universal Pictures recently has acquired the rights to the upcoming novel The Demonologist, Deadline reports. The story is was written by Canadian author Andrew Pyper; who’s known for his serial-killer thriller The Killing Circle, wilderness drama The Wildfire Season, and haunted-house horror The Guardians. Pyper won the Arthur Ellis award for one of his first novels, the crime story Lost Girls in 1999.

Robert Zemeckis; director and co-writer of Back to the Future, so I’m already impressed because hey, it’s time travel; and his ImageMovers studio are currently in the planning stages of how they will translate the text for film. Remember, the book is unreleased but quite finished. It’s probably for the best, because if the story is as good as they believe it to be, then it won’t give time for religious sects get involved.

Let’s examine the early description for The Demonologist:

“Professor David Ullman is among the world’s leading authorities on Christian religion and myth. Not that he’s a believer. He sees what he teaches as nothing more than entrenched fiction – the “things that go bump in the mind”. It’s why when he’s offered a trip to Venice to be a consultant on a case study based on his expertise as a “demonologist” he accepts, seeing it as a free vacation for his teenage daughter and himself. But what he witnesses in an attic room at an address amidst the decadent splendour of the old city will change what he believes forever. Terrified, David races back to his hotel. But now he has the unshakable feeling that he is no longer alone. And that the voice that passes from his daughter’s lips before she jumps from the hotel’s roof belongs to a being he has long studied, but until now never thought could ever be real…”

Think of the hype over The DaVinci Code, Passion of the Christ, and the Harry Potter series. Now picture a popular novel that makes everyone all a twitter about Christian religion and myth being added to the mix. We’re talking instant money here. If the freakin’ Pope steps in, then it becomes epic money!

If this book and film is to succeed, it’ll need to focus on the translation of learned fear. So in the story, a skeptical man is exposed to the supernatural world. As he’s the foremost educated authority on the matter; just an unbeliever; he’s able to quickly realize how screwed he is. So how will the reader react? If they’re skeptics, will they be able to identify with Ullman’s pragmatic ways enough to also learn his fear? Pyper and Zemeckis will have their work cut out for them to pull this off. If they do, just think how much a pushover those that ‘want to believe’ will be.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Viral Marketing

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So the marketing department has fired off a few viral things of their own for the upcoming film, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I’m sure the 16th president wasn’t much of a social gamer on Facebook, or much into online ciphers with GPS caching scavenger hunts. What was more within his reach however were parcels delivered by the U.S. Postal Service.

Bound in rope and wrapped in really good stock paper, various websites like Coming Soon and Crave Online received packages containing what seems to be a preserved journal from what we can presume at this point is the late former president of the United States. At least that’s what we hope, and that Lincoln doesn’t stalk the night, living in the hollowed out statue of himself. Included with the monogrammed leather bound journal was a photo of Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Todd Lincoln, and a silver bullet USB drive; possibly made with steampunk technology, everything is powered by steam! When I first saw these images, my immediate reaction was to go, “Who’s Al?” and be annoying about it. It’s got to be a good life when marketing peeps send you free swag like that.

On this stylish USB drive; manufactured in the past but popularized in the coming future where everyone will want one; contains a featurette for the upcoming movie. So it’s a trailer with interspersed commentary from the production crew.

The one thing that really caught my attention was when director Timur Bekmambetov explains that Lincoln was the Batman of his time. I didn’t think of that until now. It all makes sense. Lincoln has a parent he loved dearly, die before his eyes. Check. Lincoln knows that this is a direct result of underworldly elements that believe themselves to be above the law; and humanity. Check. Goes over the edge with control issues by training himself physically and mentally to be the best. Check. Finds specialists to teach him how to be better at it. Check! Vows to rid the world of anymore suffering due to the element that killed his parent. Check! Iconic costume and trappings that everyone can immediately identify. Stovepipe hat on. Axe sharpened. Double check! The white house even has a secret underground bunker, just like the Bat Cave!

The portion then that annoys me is how Tim Burton, producer of this film can say, “It’s an amazing story. I just felt like it’s something I haven’t seen before.” When in fact he has, having directed The Dark Knight himself.

It all ends with the cute joke, “Are you a Patriot or a Vampire?” encouraging viewers to go to the movie’s official Facebook page.  Which reminds me a lot of “You’re either with us, or against us.” No, not said by a unreasonable bully with psychological problems or control issues, but by a former President of the United States of America.

The featurette actually looked better than the official movie trailer itself. I was actually amped watching this and can’t wait to finish reading the book; half-way through right now.

The film is set for release by Twentieth Century Fox on June 22nd, based on the novel of the same name by Seth Grahame-Smith.

You can go to Coming Soon and look at images of their official Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter propaganda here.

Check out the new featurette below.

9 Doctor Who Episodes You Might Not Know Were Inspired By Novels

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“Doctor Who” is and always will be my FAVORITE show of all time. And after spending an entire snowy weekend rewatching all the seasons, I realized something. Many of the episodes (or serials in the earlier seasons) were actually based on or inspired by novels. Some of them were incredibly obvious like the “The Shakespeare Code” which appears in season 3 of the revived series. Also “The Myth Makers” serial from season 3 in 1963. That whole serial is based on the Illiad. Not to mention “The Unicorn and the Wasp” in 2008 is based on novels by Agatha Christie

However, those are just to obvious. (and there were over 20 in my original list till I cut it down to 9). So here are 10 episodes of “Doctor Who” that you might not have known were inspired by novels. Allons-y!

The Android Invasion

This is the fourth serial of the 13th season and was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 22 November to 13 December 1975. It featured perennial favorite Doctor, Tom Baker and Sarah Jane Smith as the companion.

To most this seems a simple Auton or android storyline that appears in much of science fiction. And they would be right, partly atleast.  This serial was originally influenced by the film and novel Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It would be the last Terry Nation script for Doctor Who for four years.

Some people will notice the similarities which is why it is number 10 on the list (and not number 1).

Image of the Fendahl

This is the third serial of the 15th season and was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 29 October to 19 November 1977. It featured once again, Tom Baker as the fourth Doctor, and Leela as the companion.

This is one of my favorite references and inspirations for an episode ever. Not only is it my favorite show, but this episode is inspired by my favorite little known Kurt Vonnegut Jr. novel, The Sirens of Titan.

The major plot device of this episode, that alien life has influenced and pushed along the evolution of mankind and brought contemporary humanity to where it is today, is highly influenced by the plot of the 1959 Vonnegut novel.

Underworld

This is the fifth serial of the 15th season and was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 7 January – 28 January 1978. It featured once again, Tom Baker as the fourth Doctor, and Leela as the companion (along with K-9!)

I think this is one of the most blantant episodes inspired by written work. The reason it is on the list is because I love the way it references the work that inspired it. Jason and the Argonauts (And I am not entirely faithful that the population has read that particular myth anyway.)

The references are MANY in this episode. We have the “Minyan” race which are related to the Minoans, the search for “P7E” references Persephone, and character names such as Jackson “Jason”, Orfe “Orpheus”, Herrick “Heracles”, Tala “Talaus”, Idmon and Idas. The connection is highlighted at the end of the episode, with the Doctor likening Jackson and his journey to Jason and his quest for the Golden Fleece.

This one is obvious, but I love the parallels it draws while retelling the story in a new setting.

Revelation of the Daleks

This is the sixth serial of the 22nd season and was first broadcast in two weekly parts on 23 March and 30 March 1985. It features the sixth Doctor portrayed by Colin Baker and the companion Peri Brown.

This particular episode was loosely based on the book The Loved One written by British novelist Evelyn Waugh. It is also in part, influenced by the film and novel Soylent Green (novel  Make Room! Make Room!). It features the eating of people as a food source which is promptly stopped by the Doctor in favor of something similar to the soybean.

Paradise Towers

This is the second serial from the 24th season and was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 5 October to 26 October 1987. It features Sylvester McCoy as the seventh doctor and has Mel as a companion.

“Paradise Towers” is storyline that follows a luxurious 22nd century high rise apartment building now fallen into disrepair and chaos. It has gangs that are always fighting and yes there are robots. This seems like a pretty standard set up for an episode but it is actually based in part on the J. G. Ballard novel High Rise, which depicts a luxury apartment building which descends into savagery.

And yes, this episode aided in one of my fears of swimming as a young child.

The God Complex

The first on this list from the revived seasons of “Doctor Who.” It is the eleventh episode of the 6th season (renumbered beginning when it was revived in 2005) and first broadcast on BBC One, BBC America and Space on 17 September 2011. It featured Matt Smith as the eleventh doctor and Amy Pond and Rory Williams as the companions.

This isn’t the first of the revived series to base on literature but it was the first that was obvious but needed to be said. And no not because of the minotaur. I mean yes that is based on mythology but that is not the point that needs to be made. This episode was highly influenced by Stanley Kubrick’s film The Shining which as most know is based on the novel of the same name. The overall look of the hotel it takes place in as well as the use of long corridor shots are very reminiscent of The Shining. 

However there is another influence that many might not catch. George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four inspired much of this episode as well. From the concept of rooms containing each person’s deepest fear, which is a major plot point toward the end of the novel. But also in the quoting of the english nursey rhyme “Oranges and Lemons” is also in the novel.

Remember: “Here comes a candle to light you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off your head!.”

Planet of the Dead

This is actually a special that aired in between seasons while David Tennant was off being Hamlet for a year. It was the first of the four specials aired between the fourth and fifth season. It aired in April 2009 and featured David Tennant as the doctor and a one time companion of Lady Christina de Souza.

This one isn’t an adaptation as such but a direct influence. The writers used the novel  The Highest Science as a jumping off point for this episode. The novel featured a train stuck on a desert planet but the writers substituted the train for a bus and went from there.

The Eleventh Hour

This is the first episode of the fifth season and also the first episode to feature eleventh doctor Matt Smith. It also featured companion Amy Pond for the first time. (Also pretty awesomely it feature amateur astronomer and The Sky at Night presenter Patrick Moore in a guest appearance as himself!)

While the main influence of this episode came from a crack in the writers’ sons bedroom wall, he also drew inspiration from A.A. Milne’s The House at Pooh Corner. This is noticeable in the scenes where the new doctor claims to like everything but then proceeds to reject everything offered to him. Finally Amy (or Amelia) figures it out and he is able to eat something to fuel his regeneration. Definitely one of the silliest influences but nonetheless it is one derived from a children’s book.

The Girl in the Fireplace and MANY many others.

This one is kind of a doozy so I put it in the end. There are two characters who are influenced by one novel. It is not necessarily that their story lines in each episode were inspired by novels but more of the core of their person and their relationship with the Doctor.

The novel? One of my favorite, The Time Travelers Wife written by Audrey Niffenegger.

When knowing someone who can time travel, you have to assume you may or may not have met them prior when they were, well, time traveling. What makes these two characters so similar to the novel is that they are both women, who meet the doctor as children when he is an adult, and both have romantic escapades with him.

The first character only appears in one episode, “The Girl in the Fireplace” which is the fourth episode of the second season featuring David Tennant as the Doctor and the companion Rose and Mickey. The woman is Madame de Pompadour (the mistress of King Louis XV). The Doctor greatly admires her and through the course of the episode falls for her (and she falls for him apparently since she was a child….?)  He falls into her world at different time periods through her life, promising to return for her (and making out with her) while the episode is structurally different from the novel it features a similar understated connection.

The second character is a biggie. Not just for this article but for the Doctor, for the fans, and for the over all mystery of the question “Doctor Who?”. River Song. She rests as one of the most enigmatic characters in the series at the beginning because of her familiarity with the Doctor, the fact she knows his name, his REAL name, and also that she seems to know many different versions of him. The character creation and conception of River was directly influenced from the name novel. (Steven Moffat must have loved that novel as much as I did). Much like River and The Doctor, Niffenegger’s lovers in the novel experience an asynchronous and tragic love story. Also River, when he first meets her, she has known him her entire life (much like Clare and Henry in the novel) and she informs him that she is his WIFE. She is literally a Time Travelers Wife. This ends up occurring at the end of the season 6 when the two actually wed.

So bam. 9 Doctor Who Episodes you probably didn’t realize were based on literature, and if you did, then bravo because that means you probably like the show just as much as I do.

Will Smith’s I Am Legend Continues

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That’s right, on February 17, Warner Bros. finally closed a deal with the film’s producer Akiva Goldsman and Overbrook Entertainment to do another installment to the 2007 hit film, I Am Legend reports Deadline.

So will this be a prequel? “Oh Hells no!” Why show the raw clash of humanity, people versus people struggling to survive, cutting into each other like so many rose thorns? Why would anyone want to watch the trouble that the Last-Man-on-Earth-to-be has to go through, surviving other idiots and super zombie/vampire proofing his home? That would be like watching an epic version of “The Walking Dead.”

Instead it looks like I Am Legend will turn into a Monty Python sketch. While everyone is bringing out their dead, Will Smith’s portrayal of the last man on Earth, Robert Neville, isn’t done yet. “I’m still alive!” The film will serve as the next installment; sigh… sequel; to I Am Legend.

Arash Amel who wrote the screenplay to Grace of Monaco, has been signed to write for the new I Am Legend movie. Amel will have his work cut out for him, as he’ll have to explain how Smith didn’t die at the end of the last movie. I believe he died giving the super vampires a Falcon Punch using live grenades in a last ditch attempt to save the girl. They were in his hands when the room went boom.

It was reported that there was an alternate ending where Smith survived but it was not used in the final version. Will Smith is expected to reprise the role as Neville, but reportedly is not committing until the script is finished.

That’s not so bad, and I’m happy that Smith is hesitant until seeing a script and prehaps researching online what reactions might be. He might have had to learn this the hard way. Originally it was rumored that Smith was going to play as the main character in a Hollywood version of Oldboy, based on the manga. Fans of the original Park Chan-wook film were probably relieved to to hear that the project has since died. It was reported that DreamWorks and Mandate Films couldn’t reach an agreement getting the rights to the original manga.

As awesome as Oldboy is, it’s violent, envelope-pushing film that was to star a guy who doesn’t know how to be mean on camera. Hancock was the most annoyed I’ve ever seen Smith. To be Oldboy, not only would he have to be vicious and crazy, but he’d have to do some things to his daughter that I don’t think North America audiences are prepared to see. Not publicly that is. So Smith was being attached to that imagery before plans for the movie were even ironed out.

Official description of the film, I Am Legend:

“Robert Neville is a scientist who was unable to stop the spread of the terrible virus that was incurable and man-made. Immune, Neville is now the last human survivor in what is left of New York City and perhaps the world. For three years, Neville has faithfully sent out daily radio messages, desperate to find any other survivors who might be out there. But he is not alone. Mutant victims of the plague — The Infected — lurk in the shadows… watching Neville’s every move… waiting for him to make a fatal mistake. Perhaps mankind’s last, best hope, Neville is driven by only one remaining mission: to find a way to reverse the effects of the virus using his own immune blood. But he knows he is outnumbered… and quickly running out of time.”

The 2007 film, I Am Legend was adapted from a book of the same name. Written by Richard Matheson, the horror fiction novel was seminal to the development of the zombie genre that we know and love today. The novel also popularized and the concept of worldwide apocalypse due to disease; yes it’s popular. How many movies of this kind and fear based news have you been exposed to in the last ten years?

The novel which was written in 1954 became a success and was adapted for many films. There was The Last Man on Earth in 1964, The Omega Man in 1971; starring the gun toting Charlton Heston, and as I Am Legend in December 2007. There was also a direct to video production called I Am Omega, released November 2007. The novel was also the inspiration behind the 1968 film Night of the Living Dead. It’s like each film bit another film and started this whole chain of events that lead to the zombie apocalypse genre.

I originally thought that I Am Legend was a well funded production and adaptation of I Am Omega. I Am Omega was such a poor budgeted production, laughable in quality and starred the current chairman of the Iron Chef shows, Mark Dacasos. It was fun to watch Dacasos as Neville going stir crazy, living alone, then using martial arts on zombies.

So far none of the film adaptations have remained true to the book. In the book version, it turns out that all the infected are getting over their monstrous tendencies and becoming civilized. As Neville is the only human on Earth, he’s public enemy number one as he’s been slaughtering them all that time. They actually capture him, imprison him and sentence him to be executed. This is where Neville finally realizes that even though the infected appear to be the boogeymen of horror stories, it’s him who’s become their nightmare as the last human. Too bad Hollywood tends to change this ending; it’s as if we’re not allowed to see ourselves as the problem. There can be a lot to learn from endings like this.

The last words spoken by Neville in the book, “Full circle. A new terror born in death. A new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. I Am Legend”

The Woman In Black: DanRad in Victorian Wear- A Review

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Why are you interested in this adaptation?

Elena-

This movie is kind of a duh for me.

It is Harry Potter.  I want to see if he can actually, you know, do something besides wield a wand with great conviction and look by turns sullen and put-upon.

It is a ghost story that looks like it might actually be scary, not just jumpy or gory but actually creep you out scary.  Far too many of the horror movies out these days are either not creepy-scary or are so blood-soaked the terror is split between fear and disgust, which generally lessens the degree to which you feel either emotion.

Also it is a Victorian ghost story so…COSTUMES!
Rachel-

Harry Potter influence disclosure!!! Plus I really like ghost movies (The Others, anyone?). The film is based on a book of the same name by Susan Hill. It has already been adapted into a very successful and long-running play on London’s West End and I’ve heard from friends who have seen the play that it would probably make a better movie, but the play is still pretty good.

That’s… as good a recommendation as any, no?

Ok, so it’s Daniel Radcliffe in period costume. SHUT UP.

 


What would make it awesome?

Rachel-

This question makes no sense. Daniel Radcliffe in period costume. What the hell else do you want?

I’m going to assume that this is going to be a little old fashioned, British scary movie. Meaning that it isn’t gory as much as it is classically scary.

Elena-

If it’s scary and smart, with good acting, some artsy directing, and a nice ambiguous ending like the best ghost stories all have.  Oh, and if Dan wears a waistcoat with distinction!

Rachel-

I just want to say that whenever I hear the term “waistcoat” my brain always says, “Why don’t people just say VESTS?” I mean really… what do old timey people have against vests?

Elena-

But—but—but—it was an underCOAT! Worn to cover a man’s WAIST.  It makes PERFECT SENSE.  What is a vest?  It’s a shortening of vestment, I think?  So…a really short priest’s robe?  That’s even worse.

What would make it suck?

Rachel-

If the story is easily figured out, if DanRad is awful, if no one is wearing period costumes.

Elena-

If Daniel Radcliffe proves he has no acting abilities whatsoever.

If it goes stupid the way so many haunted house stories go stupid…I guess by that I mean if it’s totally predictable and full of people running up the stairs when they should be running out of the fucking house, etc.

If the theater is full of stupid tween DR fans who scream every time he shows up on screen.  This happened to one of my friends opening night.  It convinced me to wait to see the film a bit later on its theatrical run.

Thoughts on casting/production?

Rachel-

I have no idea who else is in this film. I think from the trailer that I’m supposed to accept that DanRad is a family man. That…is kind of dumb. He’s what? 18? (I know he’s older than that but give me a break, he’s not a FATHERLY person.)

Now I’m thinking about the HP epilogue, and it’s making me upset!

Elena-

Right?  That epilogue was just…sad.  Also I know Victorian gents of good morals probably married early (I mean how long is he gonna wait to dip the wick, amiright?), but I don’t think “early” meant…16.

Anyway, I’m excited to see what Harry can do out of Hogwarts.  I know this isn’t his first role in a non-HP film or anything, but it’s the first movie I’ve been interested in as a film to go see him in.  The other(s) he’s done just didn’t have an independent appeal, and while I like DR and wish him well and am curious about his career prospects, I just don’t feel any of those things strongly enough to go to a movie solely because he is in it.

Otherwise, I…really don’t know much about this movie.  I know it’s based on a book that was written in 1983, so not an ACTUAL Victorian ghost story (which might have been cooler, to be honest), just one set then.  I also don’t know much about the director or the studio even though everyone is talking about Hammer rising from the grave to make this film.  Um…okay.  This is where growing up under that rock becomes obvious, because…what’s Hammer studios?  Why do I care?  Right.  Where’s Harry Potter?

Reaction to film:

Rachel-

Delightfully old fashioned scary movie! It reminded me a lot of House on Haunted Hill (the old one) because it relied on suspense mixed with scary noises and the imagination of the audience to generate the majority of the scares.

It was definitely far stronger in the beginning than it was in the ending (the motivation of the Woman in Black wasn’t very satisfying for example) especially the 20-minute scene when DanRad spends the night for the first time in Eel Marsh House. I found myself jumping at every noise, peering into every shadow. It’s in the interaction with the inhabitants of the village and the ending that force me to give this one a B- rather than an A. The rich couple with the lost child confused me, I was convinced they were the sister and brother-in-law of the Woman in Black until I got home and looked it up on Wikipedia.  They weren’t, which kind of pissed me off because I just couldn’t figure out the whole “NEVER FORGIVE” twist of the film without it being a vengeance gig against at least ONE of the onscreen characters.

Stupid.

Poor DanRad, he worked so hard to “solve the mystery” and then just got smacked in the end. WRONG. Thanks for helping me out in the only way you could but I’m going to kill you anyways! “Never Forgive” except DanRad never did ANYTHING to you stupid dead cow! LEAVE DANRAD ALONE!!!!

Besides the ending, which is pretty much what happens in the book, I had a few other beefs with the film. Namely that DanRad’s character was kind of dumb. Really dumb. Like, take me to the lonely decaying mansion that is only accessible during low tide in this creepy village where all the children kill themselves, and I’ll just wander around said decaying mansion thinking I can see my dead wife and generally going INTO rooms where creepy noises come from, with a culmination of jumping into a gross marsh bog to retrieve a mummified corpse.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DANRAD? JUST ALOHAMORA YOU’RE FUCKING WAY OUT OF THERE! RUN! GET OUT!

Is it that you can’t use the Internet yet in Ye Olde England or Scotland or wherever the fuck you are?

I CAN FIX THAT.

Here’s a telegram I could have sent you near the beginning of the film:


Here is one I could have sent after I peeled my hands off of my face and summoned up the courage to look at more of the screen than the bottom right corner while my boyfriend made fun of me – only to see you carry about a tar-covered child-mummy for a while which totally freaked me out and you should not have done that, but then it only got worse:

Here is the telegram I would have sent after the fiftieth time DanRad assured everyone that despite the hangings, and the possessed ladies, and the poisonings and the fires and the jumping to their deaths out of windows incidents involving the children of this town – that you are still having your toddler son come to visit you:

And finally, here is the telegram I would have sent to you at the end of the film, when that stupid whore of a ghost lady decided that despite all your hard work and effort and jumping into bogs that she in fact, did NOT appreciate you or feel at ease or placated or whatever it is that makes ghosts not stupid whores…and you wouldn’t have received it, but maybe that nice nanny who didn’t ask to be dragged to the evil possessed town and I hope she gets back to London OK, could read it for you:

 

Elena-

This turned out to be one of those movies that you like well enough when you first come out, but there’s a bit of confusion so you start talking about it with your friends, and the more you talk about it the more you realize the story is full of holes and doesn’t quite take you to where it was probably trying to.  And then come the inevitable comparisons to how the book set up the scenario, so why did they change this or that because it didn’t just make things more dramatic, it changed the whole implications of that part of the story, etc.

I mean, on the whole the movie wasn’t bad.  I enjoyed the very gothic feel of its visuals a lot.  The house was fucking perfect.  Daniel looked good in the waistcoat, and suitably gaunt and haunted in the way only a melancholic Victorian gentleman could.  I will go see him in more movies.  He still might not be enough of a lure on his own, but he will still be one point in a film’s favor if I am undecided.

There were parts of the movie that creeped me the fuck out.  I just…wish it had all been a little bit tighter in the motivations.  What I mean by this more than anything, I think, is that I had to suspend disbelief in a few too many places for the whole thing to seem credible.

I mean, I really wanted to send this telegram to the villagers:

This is the telegram I wanted to send to DanRad Kipps when he saw his dead wife for the twentieth time:

And why would the woman in black still go after Harry when he did his best to lay her ghost and give her back her child?  And how did she even know he had a kid to begin with to come after him away from the house?  It made more sense in the book, when he didn’t try to do anything for her, that she might come after him again later.  Here it was like…well, damn, you’re just the cuntiest ghost in Christendom, ain’t ya?

 All of this detracted from the chills and fuck-me jumps experienced during the actual viewing experience.

Rachel-

Here is where I think I’ll blame the stage production rather than the book. Because, honestly, if the kid had been mown down by a carriage and DanRad had lived to be a cranky old ghost-hunter in a VEST…well actually that would have been a good movie.

Nevermind.

Battle Royale: Complete Collection Soon To Be Released In North American

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If you have read The Hunger Games, but haven’t seen or read Battle Royale, then you are missing out. But for the first time in North America, BATTLE ROYALE and BATTLE ROYALE: The Complete Collection will be available on Blu-ray™, DVD and digital download on March 20th from Anchor Bay Entertainment.

BATTLE ROYALE. A title that has shocked, thrilled and unnerved audiences. A film whose fiendishly simple premise has inspired many imitations, including the upcoming The Hunger Games motion picture. The film is based on the 1999 global best-seller by Koushun Takami, the futuristic tale first came to the screen in 2000, directed by the legendary Kinju Fukasaku. Authors, filmmakers and film fans the world over consider the film and its 2003 sequel Battle Royale II: Requiem sacred cinematic classics.

The official press release for the film describes the plot taking place in the near future, the economy has collapsed, unemployment has soared and juvenile crime has exploded. Fearful of their nation’s youth, the Japanese government passes The BR Law: Each year, a 9th grade class is sent to a remote island where they will be locked into exploding neck collars, given a random weapon, and forced to hunt and kill each other until there is only one survivor left. Chiaki Kuriyama (Kill Bill) and screen legend Takeshi Kitano (Boiling Point, Brother) star in the movie that has been argued, acclaimed and banned around the world. More than a decade later, it remains one of the most savage, shocking and emotionally powerful films of all time. Now experience the complete Director’s Cut of Kinji Fukasaku’s uncompromising masterpiece — nominated for 10 Japanese Academy Awards® — available uncensored and unrated for the first time ever in America.

 

NBC Green-lights Hannibal Lecter. Allez Cuisine!

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Morbid fans of the fictional serial killer, Hannibal Lecter can finally crack a smile; presumably from their unfeeling, detached lips. The psychotic psychiatrist with a hunger; not of the cow bell variety; will be re-imaged for television, this time in his early years.

The show will expand upon the events alluded to in the novel Red Dragon, written by Thomas Harris. Set in Lecter’s early days, the show will examine the time Lecter went head-to-head with FBI agent Will Graham, instead of instead of Harris’ original protagonist, FBI trainee Clarice Starling.

The CW is doing the same with Sex and the City, in the process of making “The Carrie Diaries” aimed at a younger generation. Maybe that’s what NBC is trying to do with a new crop of uneducated sociopaths. Giving them a chance to learn their fictional roots and plenty of “how to” lessons. Both shows follow a form of passion really.

NBC must have liked what they saw in the script, because they’ve given the green light for 13 episodes to L.A.-based indie studio, Gaumont International Television. No pilot was needed either. It’s straight to series for them. Written by Bryan Fuller, the Hannibal project is a one-hour drama that will essentially set as a prequel to the Hannibal Lecter films.

As a fan of Showtime’s “Dexter”; for the first two seasons; which invariable is a show about politeness and acting human, I worry about how Hannibal on television will turn out. Bryan Fuller is also the creator of “Dead Like Me” and “Pushing Daisies.” One’s a satire about existence and death, the other is the equivalent of a live action cartoon… and death. On top of that, he was co-producer of Heroes. No, not the awesome first season. The other failed seasons. So unless the Hannibal television show is about sarcasm, I’m rather worried.

Not that it would be Fuller’s complete fault. NBC isn’t the first place to think I’d find small screen cannibalism.

I’m sure the show follows the literary Hannibal Lecter as he is described in the novels. I just can’t see anyone else follow the cinematic portrayal of a Sir Philip Anthony Hopkins, or play the part other than him.

If the new show is going to be remotely faithful to the novel’s character, he’ll have to be sadistic, manipulative and have no moral quandaries about killing people. Lecter is a thinking man’s serial killer. He should kill people because they annoy him or bore him. Eat them because he’s hungry and because he sees them for the mindless cattle that they are!

Hopefully the show won’t descend into a prime time cliche where Lecter uses his brain powers to find bad guys and then eat them off screen. “Oh, you have something on your face.” says the barista. “Ah, clumsy me. I must have missed a spot when I last had dinner with your friend.” suggests Lecter with a slightly diabolical laugh.  The barista nods and titters nervously as Lecter continues. “In fact, you can almost say that I ate him and he’s in my stomach right now. No wait, scratch the last part.”

Altered Carbon To Be Produced by Mythology Entertainment

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 Mythology Entertainment which was recently formed by Brad Fischer, Laeta Kologridis and James Vanderbilt, have optioned the film rights to the novel Altered Carbon, written by Richard Morgan.

Mike Medavoy and Arnie Messer will act as executive producers for this film, while Kologridis; who’s worked on Shutter Island and Avatar; will be adapting Altered Carbon for the big screen aside David Goodman; previously an executive producer of The Family Guy and the writer behind the Futurama Star Trek parody episode, “Where No Fan Has Gone Before.” Heh, he’s dead Jim.

The film which was initially to be developed by Warner Bros. back in 2006, but has turned over to Mythology Entertainment.

Altered Carbon is described as a “hardboiled science fiction novel” that is set five hundred years in a dystopian future. Here’s the official synopsis from the author Richard K. Morgan’s website:

“In the 26th century mankind has spread through the galaxy, taking its religions and racial divisions out into the cold arena of space. While tensions exist and small dirty wars flare up every now and then, the UN Protectorate maintains an iron grasp on the new worlds, aided by its very own elite shock-troops; the Envoy Corps.

Meanwhile, what religion cannot guarantee technology has already delivered; when your consciousness can be stored in a cortical stack and routinely downloaded into a new body even death has become little more than an inconvenience. As long as you can afford a new body…

Ex-UN Envoy Takeshi Kovacs has been killed before; it was a hazard of the job, but his last death was particularly brutal. Needlecast across light years of space, re-sleeved into a body in San Francisco on Old Earth and throw into the centre of a conspiracy that is vicious even by the standards of a society that has forgotten how to value life, he soon realises that the shell that blew a hole in his chest on Harlan’s World was only the beginning of his problems…”

So it’s a cyberpunk fantasy and crime story. The story follows the specially trained Kovacs who’s now leaped into the body of a nicotine addicted hard-boiled ex-cop. A very rich and powerful man has recruited Kovacs because he believes someone murdered his last body, and wants the soldier to find out the truth about the incident.

 “Altered Carbon is one of the most seminal pieces of post-cyberpunk hard science fiction out there — a dark, complex noir story that challenges our ideas of what it means to be human when all information becomes encodable, including the human mind,” said Kalogridis.

The novel which was published in 2002 reminds me of two pieces of science fiction work. The description of a power UN Protectorate over multiple worlds reminds me of televisions Firefly; also released in 2002; and the portion where consciousness travelling done via “hyperspatial data-casting” reminds me of the Ender’s Game series by Orsen Scott Card.

The optioning rights for the film also covers two more novels called Broken Angels and Woken Furies in the Takeshi Kovacs series.

While Altered Carbon is an exciting science fiction and crime hybrid, it does make one think about what the future holds for the human spirt. I’m suddenly plagued by questions about whether the soul exists anchored only to one body, or if it’s truly the sum of our memories and skills. Either way, I hope the film doesn’t turn into another carbon copy of other sci-fi movies that have been cranked out.